Home discussions Relationships Post end of relationship

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 12 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #3180
    nap
    Participant

    For those who have ended their relationship with their SA, what is your relationship like now? Right now, I can’t even stand to look at mine. Please share what your relationship is like now? Thanks.

    #12901
    polly
    Participant

    My ex will not speak to me, which turns out to be a good thing . there really isn’t anything to say since he acknowledges nothing wrong with his sexual behavior. I only see him at temple occasionally, and he pretends I am invisible. I wish he actually were invisible!

    #12902
    diane
    Participant

    My SA contact is solely about our two sons, with a few newsy bits occasionally, or practical things about the property we jointly own still in Ontario. I think he’s recently decided contact is bad for him, so it’s even less. He likes being the victim. His current project in his recovery is to stop lying and exaggerating every day. Gawd, it’s pathetic.
    d.

    #12903
    polly
    Participant

    Oh yes, mine is a huge victim, too. Poor baby. Puke!

    #12904
    nap
    Participant

    mine makes me want to puke too Polly and Diane mine is lying about everything still and even more now. It is pathetic….so happy to be away from what ever the hel* he is…..

    #12905
    flora
    Participant

    Hi NAP,
    Mine is non-existant as well. I hate him when I see him and just keep it to the bare minimum. Part of why I hate him so is he has never tried, nothing has changed since the day I have kicked him out.So now process of the divorce, nothing has changed. So it is what it is, no relationship. Just as relates to our daughter and any financial stuff that is being straightened out or which needs taken care of for the divorce.
    Thats it. But when someone causes so much pain and suffering, and cannot see it or take responsibility where it is due, I cannot see how it would result in anything more. Because one person is settling or sacrificing, and that will not be my anymore.

    #12906
    nap
    Participant

    Flora,
    I agree with you so much. My h has caused me so much pain and heartache. He runs around now like hes Mr. AOK especially in front of my kids which I just find sickening. These guys never stop; it’s just full throttle for mine into a*s hole land. I wouldn’t care if I never saw his sorry a*s again ever!!!! (Gee think I’m bitter, I don’t fu*cking care!!!)

    #12907
    lylo
    Participant

    Nap, bitter conjures images of someone that you are not There has to be a better expression…survivor! I see that Mr A-ok thing occasionally when my husband and I are with extended family and it really bugs me. I had to tell him that I still need a little more Mr contrite.
    Flora, kudos to you for refusing to continue that role of accommodator-in-general!
    Diane and Polly, it must be a relief to know that you are now able to view them as they are from a safe distance and not be a part of their drama. Great ladies, all.

    #12908
    nap
    Participant

    Lylo,
    Thank you for your message. I agree, I’m not a bitter person. I don’t think I have ever seen my husband contrite…oh well, not my problem…Love ya, Nap

    PS I would love it if you did “whos in the mirror”, only if you want to.

    #12909
    flora
    Participant

    Hi NAP,
    I would say i am the bitter angry person as well right now. But it is pin point focused on him, or is brought about if I see him or have to deal with him. Uhg. I am the in the same place as you with this one.

    #12910
    lylo
    Participant

    I will NAP – missed that one!

    #12911
    nap
    Participant

    Flora, you are right, me too, its when I see him or have to deal with him. It triggers all the suppressed anger I have stuffed for years. It can be pretty overwhelming at times and it sounds like you have this too.

    Lylo, thank you for doing “who’s in the mirror” . I know it’s important for me to know who I am and where I am right now in my life. It takes courage for us to “look in the mirror”. Its so important we know and remember who we really are. I think we are a bunch of pretty neat woman. We all deserve peace, happiness, joy, respect, and love in our lives.

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 12 total)
  • The forum ‘Relationships’ is closed to new topics and replies.