Psuedo-Victim

This is from the book Toxic Guilt which I have posted about. This is an interesting topic that she talks about.

She says that everyone is a victim at times, and everyone is a rescuer at times. Both roles are a normal part of the human condition. She says that many people develop personalities that are predominatly one role or the other. Hence there are those who seem to be victims most of the time who are psuedo-victims. She says the perks of being a pseudo-victim are high. Not much is expected from people who are perpetual victims. They are excused from responsibility, continually let off the hook. Others step in to take care of them, making their decisions and solving problems.

She says the price is equally high. Chronic pseudo-victims aren’t taken seriously; they are relegated to the status of children. Exagerated dependence on others robs people stuck in victimhood of independence and self-sufficnecy. Many people eventually leave pseudo-victims because of their oppressive dependence and neediness. Pseudo-victims who want to change because they are lonely, insecure and unhappy face an uphill battle. Unfortunate childhood events need not determine the course of a life.

I posted this because, my SA husband is the constant victim. This addiction he is a victim, in life he is a victim, his work he is a victim, his family he is a victim, it is just constant. He plays the pity card non-stop. His parents still run around caretaking him even as a grown adult. He is the perpetual pseudo-victim. He has moved back home, where they caretake for him, there is no end in site.

I just posted this for any of you who may be in a relationship with a similar type and can identify with this. Maybe no one. But here it is.