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I’ve recently started having recurring dreams about my h. The theme is the same.. He’s telling me he’s leaving me, and sort of smiling when he says it. Last night’s dream was a kicker.. I was following him around, begging and pleading with him to stay with me, and telling him that I would change, that I would do better. In the early aftermath after discovery, I rarely dreamed about him, but now, a few months later, it seems to be an ongoing thing. I wish I’d have a dream that showed a little gumption on my part, but so far no luck. Have any of you had similar dreams?
Love,
Annie xoxoHi Anniem,
I had some really odd dreams while in the “what I would call” critical early, catonic phase. I would wake up actually crying or screaming out his name. I would be calling for him to help me. It was such a strange out of body experience. It made me even more fearful of what was happening inside of me. It felt like I did not have control of my thoughts or body because I would be in this inbetween dream and awake stage. I could hear myself crying out but I did not know if it were real or a dream. Than I would come out of my drowsy state and realize that I was actually screaming or crying. I have never done that before. It was scary. It just made me even more sad. I knew that my body was processing what was happening. Just surreal.After that phase I went into this phase that lasted for about a year where I did not remember dreaming at all. Nothing, just blank. I was not sleeping well.
Now that I have been remembering my dreams again, I feel like that is a sign of returning to normal. What ever normal is. But I have not had the crying or screaming scary sad dreams anymore.
I do remember having a dream where I could see him hiding in my closet. He was all camoflaged into what ever my clothes were so it made it hard to see him. But I could see his eyes for sure. His eyes were looking at me, staring. I felt like his eyes were searching me. They were trying to figure out if I could see him or not.
It does not sound scary when I write about it, but I would be so freaked out when I woke up.I think this dream said alot about our situation. He was trying to see how much I knew. He was going to hide the rest. His eyes were fearful with what I might do next. Just weird.
Cindy, I’m no expert on dream interpretation, but that dream of him staring at you seems really profound to me. And what you said about your earlier dreams where you woke up screaming or crying really cements it for me that it really is PTSD that we suffer. Reading about that happening to you reminded me that a few weeks ago I woke myself up by saying out loud something I was saying to him in my dream. And I was actually sitting up. I don’t remember having anything like that happen either.. except in the early days after giving birth when I was sleepwalking all over the place.
I’m so sorry for what you went through, but very glad that you’re not having those kinds of dreams anymore. How long did you suffer with the dreams where you woke up crying or screaming?
Love,
Annie xoxoA little website for all the dreamers. I like it sometimes it help. http://www.dreammoods.com
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