SA and meds

He does NOT have ADD or AD/HD. ADHD kids are LOUD, DISRUPTIVE, INTENSE, IN YOUR FACE, GET THEM OUT OF HERE OR I’M GONNA BLOW MY BRAINS OUT.

They struggle mightily in school, although its not because they are not smart. In fact, most are actually of superior intellectual level. My son took tests in the 8th grade and scored in the 99th percentile in all of his academic areas and in the 15th% in executive functioning. in clinical terms, that’s called “scatter” and anything more than a 20% deviation one way or the other is significant. ’nuff said.

yes, that’s true and I believe that I fall on that spectrum, but not an IQ of 150… However, most boys do have the H component, and also have difficulty in school in some fashion or other and would never be deemed to be “the perfect child.” (what we call a pretend child) My difficulty was in speed and accuracy. I’d get the answers right, but didn’t finish the test or would get one off on my numbering, if I skipped a question.

However, there are often co-morbid disorders, such as depression, anxiety, or OCD. But, my worry with Katt’s h is that an addictive personality mixed with amphetamines is risky. The good news is that it works fast, and he would know right away if it was helping or not. Just concerned about him getting hooked on that stuff and also about the possibility of it worsening his SA. not sure, about the latter… but it’s possible that it could have that effect.

Hi Katt,
My son had AD/HD BUT my neighbor’s son was only ADD and was a dreamy, quiet child who just could not focus until he went in Ritalin. He was not hyperactive though. It can present with the H component or not. Karen

I have found that many sex addicts also suffer from a mental illness. ADD and Bipolar are the most common. It get’s tough though because the wrong medication can make things worse. Further, ADD and Bipolar have some symptoms that mimic each other. But meds for ADD are terrible for Bipolar Disorder and can make it much worse. Stimulants are discouraged for sex addicts, as they can be a trigger for acting out. To make things more complicated, some people have both ADD and Bipolar diagnoses. Obviously, for these reasons, it is important to find a good psychiatrist. Easier said than done. I have a client who has always blamed her husband’s acting out on his Bipolar, until I pointed out that while promiscuity and not thinking about consequences are often symptoms of the manic side of bipolar, possibly she is letting him off too easy. Maybe his acting out is simply his sex addiction, expecially since after twenty years of treatment for bipolar, the sex addiction hasn’t gotten better. When my husband went to see a psychiatrist for the first time in his life, after his disclosure to me that he is a sex addict, his shrink told him that he is bipolar and that sex addiction isn’t real. GRRRRR!!! Interestingly, however, the Lithium they put him on has helped him a lot with his anger issues. I did some research and found that Lithium has been found to be successful in treating people who deal with rage outbursts (my husband) who are not bipolar. I have seen Lithium help another client, who is also a sex addict, in this way. The most important things to remember for a sex addict, when it comes to meds, are that stimulants and also antidepressants (if he is bipolar) can make acting out worse or make him more prone to act out. It would be great if we could just trust the doctors, but unfortunately it is important to do your own research and get a second, or third, opinion if possible. Another important thing to remember is that often people who are bipolar are misdiagnosed or only go to the doctor for the depressive symptoms. They neglect to report the manic symptoms and are treated for depression. Antidepressants alone, not combined with a mood stabilizer, will make bipolar worse. And for a sex addict, this is NOT good.

hadj608, it sounds like your husband is a typical sex addict. The “unusual desire to stay/prove he is still young, stronger and better than everyone else” is not at all unusual for a sex addict. In fact it is the norm. I don’t know about the OCD you mentioned, but compulsive spending can be a symptoms of bipolar disorder (I should clarify I am not a doctor and you can’t substitue anything I say for advice from an MD, but I have studied this stuff extensively and see it all the time in my counseling practice). Of course, another thing to consider is that addictions tend to run in pairs, so he could just have a shopping addiction. I am curious how many or your addict husbands play video games? I see that all the time as well as drinking, constant TV watching, playing golf, or any other behavior that distracts him from reality. Another theme I see with addicts…escaping reality. That’s really what it’s all about. ANYTHING to not have to deal with life, responsibilities etc. They never learned healthy coping skills. And if they don’t distract themselves they might have to think about their hell of a childhood or the guilt about their acting out.

One down side to meds when it comes to sex addicts is that there is no medication for personality disorders. That includes narcissistic personality disorder (that I think well over half of SA have) and antisocial personality disorder (or sociopath/psychopath). A lack of empathy (not feeling guilty for example) is a big part of both of these. Not only that, but therapy is not that effective for personality disorders either and when it is it is generally very long term therapy. Here is an excellent powerpoint presentation by CSAT, Rob Weiss. He actually “gets it”, although he admits it took him ten years of practicing as a CSAT before he got it and in the meantime he did a lot of damage to partners. http://www.sexualrecovery.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Understanding_Narcisssm.pdf

Hi all,
Not that I’m opposed to medication, but what about the old, “keep your dick in your pants because you’re married!” remedy. And if you can’t do that pick another woman to fu*k around on besides me as* hole. I think thats good therapy.

Love, Nap

Please Do NOT read if you are still with your SA because it is NOT hopeful ,but, it is my real opinion…. 🙁

I feel SUCH FRUSTRATION with these men, with us, the partners who keep TRYING and TRYING, and with these therapists and their BS, blah, blah,blah..try this, try that, check him in here for thousands and thousands of dollars, trust your HIGHER POWER, pray, look the other way, have compassion, set boundaries, focus on yourself….. meanwhile, your husband fu*ks your sister, lusts after his daughter, stores videos of himself fu*king hookers on your computer, tells you a marriage can be anything 2 people want it to be and then doesn’t give you any choice in what that marriage will be, has sex with men when he is straight, has sex with whores when he is married, has sex with webcams but not his wife, doesn’t have sex with you for a lifetime, but says he will NOT be labelled and doesn’t need help, then he CHEATS, LIES, BLAMES, EXHIBITS NO REMORSE,MINIMIZES,RATIONALIZES,DENIES and then when you object…TELLS YOU HE LOVES YOU? GOD HELP US ALL! I cannot stand it. They say there is no life without hope? BUT with these as*holes…I say there is NO LIFE with hope! These creeps are NEVER getting better and neither are we until we see that??? I read the story about Marie, that Ella recommended and it made my blood boil. I would have killed that f**ker and considered it a favor to society . My husband duped me and stole years of my life, but you know what? I will NEVER give him the chance to do that again. I prefer to live with no hope rather than false hope and I don’t give 2 shits what his “condition” is. SORRY for the outburst but I DON’T CARE about their medications, what new theory the Addiction Society has for their choices, what the DSM says about what diagnostic criteria they fit in or don’t fit in, what their therapists say about them, what our therapists say about them, what “they” say about themselves. They hurt people and are SICK,SICK,SICK and those of us that stay within 10 feet of them are sick too. PERIOD. Fool me once, shame on me ,but fool me twice……Well….ok. NEEDED TO GET THAT OUT…… My apologies in advance 🙁 Karen

Oh, also kmf-no apologies needed. You are right on!!!

Right on, Karen,

I am also so sick of all the rhetoric around their behaviors. Like NAP said, Keep your dick in your pants unless you’re making love to your wife. No apologies needed.

Love, debora