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Just thought I’d share my latest experience of the selfishness of SAs. My ex took my son’s football team to a soccer game on Tuesday night (he’s the coach – God help them!) The game finished at 9.30pm and even allowing for bad traffic, he should have dropped my son off by 10.15pm. 10.30pm came, then 10.45pm. By this time even my other son was getting worried, so I rang ex’s mobile. My son answered saying they had just left the stadium, as they’d gone to the players’ lounge after the game. SA didn’t even think to ring me and warn me they would be late. My son didn’t get home until 11.20pm!!!! I very calmly raised the issue with him the next day and at first got the usual excuses – he was busy, I could ring if I was worried (erm I did!), he assumed I would know (?). Then eventually he admitted that after I’d rung he had said to my son that he should have phoned and let me know. Why do we have to have all the bulls**t before they just tell the truth?!!!
Hi busy Bee,
I think that the SA’s never want to take responsibility for their actions. Quite simply. And everything is about them. The SA even appears to have forget the fact that your son was up unitl 11:20; which I would expect was a school night ( I am sure other parents were ticked!!!! as well!!!!). My SA is the same. Still drags her everywhere even if she is sick. They really lack any kind of common sense or empathy for anyone else. I cringe when so many people say that the SA is a good father. i would love to beleive that, but I thought my SA was a good father to my daughter as well. But how can someone be a good father if the kid is a trophy, never think about the kids feelings, activities are based on what the SA wants, no empnaty, no caring etc etc. Becaue in reality I do not think the really treat the kids anybetter than us, the dog, their female friendly friends etc.Unfortunately, this is their MO, always was and always will be. Im not surprised anymore by any and all of their behavior. Its the way they are unless they are in recovery and then some things still may linger for a number of possible reasons.
Hey guys… I don’t think this issue as annoying as it is, (and you have every right to be upset with him) is specific to SAs (aka selfish pricks). I think its pretty much most men, most of the time, at least from what I’ve heard… hmmm… well… They are so friggin clueless about this kind of thing, aren’t they? It feels like surely they are doing this intentionally, but this time, I have to say that in most cases, I don’t think so.
I have had this same exact thing happen with my h and I realize he didn’t even have it on his radar… Does he think? “the gig (in our case) is over at 9:30 and if we aren’t back by 10:15, I better call Lexie to let her know.” Maybe one time in five. They get there, when they get there. I mean, if it was 1:00 in the morning, he would’ve called. (after an APB was issued!) Now, if I had said, if you’re going to be home after 10:15, please let me know… I MIGHT have a slim chance that he’ll:
A) have heard me (classic and I’m afraid am also guilty of this! We all have ADD around here! haha!)
B) remembered what I said that isn’t of any great consequence (in his mind)
C) have his cell phone
D) remembered to charge his cell phone
E) remembered where he parked his car
F) remembered how to get home.Yes, all of these things have happened at one time or another.
Lol Lexie
I think you’re right that it is a trait that most men have to some extent – just think SAs are even worse and have to make up the rubbish excuses afterwards!
Flora – it’s Easter holidays here, so it wasn’t actually a school day – thank goodness! He didn’t think I should worry because I knew my son was with him! (LOL!!!!!!) I pointed out that he was driving and they could have been in an accident and he genuinely seemed like ‘Oh yeah, I never thought of that!’ :/
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