Shaming Our Anger

Yes, that is what happened. Catherine- Teri and Lynn are correct. Writing a scorching post and then deleting it are nothing new and it will happen again, I’m sure. But having said that, I am concerned about you. There was a tremendous amount of anger in your post that was directed at us. If you really feel that you are not being supported here, it’s important that we bring that into the light and address it. None of us want you or anyone else to feel that way. If you are angry at us, let’s talk about it.

With love and concern,
Daisy

Yes.

March, I will be totally pissed at you if you ever do start pulling punches and I’m much nastier than Catherine. You are who are you and I love you for it. I value your comments, your anger and most of all, the generous sharing of your experiences which you lay before us as a cautionary tale no matter how painful they are for you. Don’t you dare change. We need you just as you are.

I think March has laid her pain and denial and begging and pleading and hoping and praying and putting every fiber of her being into trying to stay with Greg out on this site honestly.

I doubt seriously you will find anyone that has tried harder than March. I don’t think you will find anyone that has been more honest about her pain and her mistakes.

She has shared with us. She does not share with us to shame or berate us. She shares because it might help one of us. That is what a sister does.

Catherine, I know you are not a mean person. I know you want your marriage to work. I hope it does. I truly do. That does not mean that your H gets a pass. You are nervous about going to California and I get that. I told you I was a chicken shit and I need to go but I don’t want to (yet).

March has been thru hell and back again. She needs to get every ounce of it out. I personally believe Greg almost killed her ( not literally but her spirit/soul).

Maybe your H is not Greg. I don’t know. But he was March’s and her story should not be dismissed as an attack on any of the rest of us…..

I am sorry anybody was upset at a post that was about anger that we all have.

I had to read through this whole post twice. I am feeling really dense right now, so I may as well throw in my 2 cents.
This whole sa/fake marriage we have all been duped into is bullshit. Listen to yourselves!!! There is no argument here!! We have every right to be completely pissed off. We were all married to walking contradictions!
If we had married obvious cheating assholes we would have just divorced them and moved on. This is different.

I married a guy and had 5 kids and we had a wonderful life, he pretended to be the perfect husband/dad. Never did I or most people in our world think something like this could ever be possible. I know you all come from the same place.
again ~ we would have just divorced them if they were obviously cheating assholes.
I always kept peace in my husbands high anxiety world. I am so pissed off right now. I gave him everything I had. I sacrificed for the peace and quiet in my family. He ran over me, the one who will love him more than anyone else in this world, like a fucking bulldozer, so he can what?…….fuck random losers on craigs list! The first random fuck being 3 weeks after our wedding!!! The thank you notes still needed to go out from our 500 people invite wedding, and he’s humping a coworker in MY car. I’m incredible pissed off for the beautiful, thin, starry -eyed 19 year old who he manipulated to accommodate his corrupted existence. I am divorcing him for her, I haven’t even gotten to the next 30 years!

Catherine, I did not see your post. You are in an earlier stage than march. I have seen march NOT stand up for herself for too long. (it’s always easier to see it elsewhere). I find March’s anger such a relief and I feed off of it. Dear lord – she is such a great person and he was sucking her into his hell. Thank goodness she is saving herself. For her kids, for herself, for us!

This is not about unfounded or inappropriate anger. We are fucking nuts if this doesn’t piss us off. ~ or patrick carnes zombies.

I just want to add that I adore March and she is well aware of that fact. Just the same, Catherine has apologized and admitted she may have taken things out of context. March is strong and smart and a therapist. She understands how this all works because she has lived it. I am guessing she doesn’t want to take it any further than clarifying her position. If I have put the wrong words in her mouth she will soon set me straight but I think March knows that Catherine is struggling to find her own truth.

And thanks you guys.

I get through it because I have all of you.

I was trying hard to relate to what you were talking about, Diane, and I realized the anger from dr. evil’s sex addiction really tapped into a whole larger picture for me. And I couldn’t differentiate it. So I think his abuse which then became the therapist’s abuse then became the system’s abuse. It’s all related, I think.

It is beyond shaming- it is punishment that I face. I am threatened with losing so much if I get angry. And yet how could I not be angry?

Forgive me, I don’t mean to be self-indulgent. I don’t know if I can extrapolate from my experience. But I am feeling like society is turning a blind eye to abuse and then blaming the victim for getting angry about it. I feel like is is pervasive.

I seriously need to go listen to some rap music now.

What the hell, let’s just kiss and wear makeup, girls!

I’ll drink to that Liza 🙂

Thanks, Bev. Sounds perfect.

We get what is happening to you march. I am DYING to ask what Greg is doing in all of this BUT I am trying to be respectful and wait for you to update when you feel ready.

who’s greg? 🙂