- This topic has 13 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 3 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
or rather, according to ‘the questionnaire’ that he falls somewhere in between sex addict and not a sex addict. i don’t really know what this means. i know i’ve been out of touch for the past few days. kind of fumbling through trying to figure out what is left of our marriage. to be honest i just don’t know. i have had a few good days, and today i am having a pretty bad day. i tried to cuddle and be amorous this morning (i KNOW–something i didn’t know if i’d be able to do again, yet there we were….)and he pulled his dick out and held his balls and suddenly, all i could imagine was him standing there in front of some nameless little faggot’s face doing the same things–grabbing his balls, saying to him the same things he says to me–and i just froze. i just got sick and jumped out of bed. blech. REALLY? and i guess this is how it’s going to be until i can ever get the images out of my head, if that EVER happens. sorry i have been out of touch, sisters. just trying to keep my head above water. my therapy appointment was thursday. i like her and am going to keep going. she was very positive, and very sweet, and i think i need that right now. his therapist gave him hell and got up in his face. she’s pretty hardcore and is apparently able to see right through any bullshit. she’s gonna have her work cut out with him, because he’s full of bullshit. 🙂
Well, if he’s not a Sex Addict then he’s just your ordinary, run of the mill, lying, cheating. abusive Asshole.
Ask him which he would would he prefer.
That was exactly my response. If he’s not an addict then he is an asshole. Although addicts tend to be assholes too. But I’m new here and wanted someone else to say it first.
I wonder how honest he was when he took the evaluation. My H took it and before the therpist discussed the results with him, he told me, “If those are the questions they ask to see if your a sex addict, I’m in trouble. Because they sounded like “no-brainer every guy does this” questions.”
Yeah, that’s another of their ‘mantras’. I still even hear it from Larry occasionally.
Every guy does it.
Sorry, no they do not.
Only Assholes or Sex Addicts do those things.
And, maybe there is no difference between the two.
Okay, I may be confused because we have many new people. WM I thought you thought your h was gay?? Or do I have you mixed up with someone else. Was he at his moms? And she didn’t want him so he came home and now your in bed with him, his dick and balls? I’m confused???
Love, NapI’m confused too. Why would YOU want to cuddle and be amorous?
If you wanted to know if you would ever be able to do that again, it hardly seems like something you would want to try with him at this stage of the game and would certainly send a mixed message.
Just wondering.
Love and hugs ~ JoAnn
I’ve wondered if they just SAY “every guy does it” to get you off their back or if they really believe it.
I can understand a little the cuddle thing. You want normalcy maybe?
WM – my honest assessment is that he is gay and doesn’t want to admit. A lot of gay men have wives for an appearance for the public. Or because they have a wife they think it makes them not gay.
I think that he’s gay.
AND, he’s a sex addict.
Predator was really BIG on the whole “perpetuation of the species” theory.
In other words, ALL men, have been programmed to fuck as many women as possible.
Yeeessshhhh
I’m so sorry honey, for your pain… and the images. yuck. Its such a confusing time. You love the man, and at the same time, he grosses you out.
I get that. And its okay, too. I think we’ve discussed this before, about a woman finding out the truth and then, kinda having the desire to “stake her territory”, but then… eeewww…
And I agree with you too, Kim. I think that a lot of them, really believe this. They believe that the wife will keep them from being gay, from being with other women, from looking at porn…
or… maybe they just don’t think.
Yes. I think that’s it.
Right, I’m with the ‘they don’t think ‘ part. His first excuse was that he was just being stupid. Yes NAP, I’m the one with the queer-in-denial husband. He’s still denying it and I’m still telling him straight men don’t want to have their dick sucked by guys. He claims it’s his default because he did it for so many years. Claims he has been so miserable with himself and out of touch with reality that he went back to his default in an effort to relate to SOMEthing, anything. I kind of get that actually, as stupid as it seems. Neither of us has been ‘straight’ for very long and he, even less than I, has absolutely no idea what a real relationship looks like, much less how to act in one. Sure it’s addictive behavior, whether he admits it or not. Yes , and I guess the cuddling was an attempt at some normalcy, but also to see how he reacts to it. As in, is he interested or not, because if he isn’t, well you know where I’m going with that, right? It’s all just such a struggle right now. Thing are not the LEAST bit normal, and I’m struggling not to be a smartass bitch every time he tells me loves me. I honestly do not have very high expectations of him, just kinda waiting around for him to fuck up so I can be done with him for good. i’m pretty sure he will fuck up. as i keep reminding him, nothing has changed–he’s still as miserable as he was when all this happened in the first place.
Hi WM,
Thanks for sharing. I guess the best way to look at it is they are so muddled about themselves, as long as we stay clear about ourselves, well be okay. It’s important to stay clear and not let them affect our clarity.
Love, Naplo, I will have to edit my post when I’m on something other thn my iPhone. Laughing my as off that I called myself a smartass butch. Oh that is a good laugh right now.
I agree with you, NAP. For about 2 days I was trying to act like everything is fine. But it’s not and he’s just gonna have to deal with it.Hi WM,
In the midst of an awful lot that’s just plain crazy, you have enough clarity to laugh at your own funny typos. You are quite a woman, WM, and I’m glad to know you. Thanks for just jumping in and telling us like it is. I think you are going to find your way out of this mess.I can relate. My spouse took some kind of a test that was supposed to somehow indentify his level of SA. The number he scored on the test evidently indicated that he was in the early phase of this addiction. (What ever that is supposed to mean.) So his line after that was that he was not a sex addict that he suffered with a compulsion.
OK, well, whatever you want to call it. Still has the same effect on me.
- The forum ‘Stories’ is closed to new topics and replies.