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She sent a suggestive text to my husband last week and I decided to sit down with her. It was so hard to sit across the table from a girl who has had sex with my husband on numerous occasions and for years. A woman who when originally confronted two years ago lied to me and was caught again. The entire time I had to consciously block images of her lips on him because of a text from him lto her last June about her oral talents.
Anyhow, I don’t think she knew I felt any intimidation. I told her if she ever contacted my husband again that she was out of a job. I had her sign a sexual harrassment policy and made sure to let her know I would find her in violation of it if she contacted him again. That he has clearly told her it is over and I have told her to stay away. This was to be considered her verbal warning.
She was so apologetic ( puke) and got teary eyed apologizing to me and asking me not to tell her fiancee. I told her from a personal standpoint I would never forgive her, but from a professional standpoint her job is secure provided she stays away from my husband and maintains a professional relationship with any of our clients or employees within the offices we service.
I have been so tempted to fire her, but there are so many other women, and this one in particular makes me a lot of money and helps feed my children, so I figure she has already screwed me over, she may as well pay my bills.
Anyhow, it was somewhat empowering. I was professional and classy. She told me before she left that I am a bigger woman than she is, because she could have never given me the same courtesy if the shoes were reversed and she hopes one day I will forgive her, but she doesn’t deserve my forgiveness or her job and she is so thankful I didn’t fire her because she knows she deserves it and much much worse.
I just wish I never had to deal with any of this crap. There are so many days I wish I hightailed it the other direction the day I layed eyes on my SA, but i do feel like yesterday was a victory.
Lori
Feeding your kids (and you) is important! I know it was hard for you. The closest to this I have come is to send an email via SAH’s secret email that I discovered to several of his escorts. One answered me back! She was so sweet…ugh! That was 14 months ago. The other day, just out of curiosity, I checked the sit, and there she was: emailing him to see if he “wanted a poke.” I just logged off!
I hope he doesn’t have another “secret” email, but if he does, he does. We are classy ladies who have been thrown into a nasty, filthy world full of whores! Yes, Lori, if we had only known what we were getting into, we all could have hightailed it in the other direction…..Well done, Lori. I just posted to you on a different subject about a similar situation. Different outcome.
I got an emai from a former employee telling me that I was among the top 3 women that she admired in her life. That was nice. A few months ago I found out that she had sex with my SA. Ironically, shortly after that disclosure she emailed me a request for a recipe. (she lives 1/2 way across the country). I took the opportunity to let her know that I knew…
She sent me a message that she owed me an apology and anything that i wanted to know with her phone number. I called her and (she is now married with 2 kids) she said she cried all day when she read my message. She said that she was a sad single woman that wanted a bite out of my life. (she also gave me enough info to bust him on minimizing which is when I moved out) When I look at all of my husbands conquests, they were all sad single women – very vulnerable and easy to seduce.
I am going to try and not be one of those sad single women. Although for me married men and men in relationships are off the radar. For some women they just don’t care.
I read your post with bated breath. Kudos Lori for being mature, level headed and indeed classy. He does not deserve you. I wish you well.
Hi Lori – I just read your post regarding confronting the other woman. I think it really takes balls to sit down with her 1 on 1, and I would probably have had to do the same thing. I just have to ask why you told her to stay away from your’e husband. If it isn’t her, it will be someone else – it is up to him to put a stop to all of this.
Just a thought – hope you don’t feel I am being too critical.Lylo – Good for you in confronting the other woman. Sounds like your’e husband is an expert at exploiting very vulnerable single women. They may be sorry, but are still stepping on another woman’s toes, (yours) and what kind of a woman with any values would do that? Do these women all know he is married, or did he lie about that too?
Just brilliant and extremely impressive. you have my respect. 🙂
Lori,
I find you to be incredibly controlled. I am very impressed. Where did you find this strength? I love how you continue to put your children’s best interest first. You GO girl.hugs,
CindySharron,
I knew 11 of them well – 10 worked for us, 1 was our realtor, and one was a customer that I did not know well. The ones that I confronted have values now – they’re now married. I meant that in a very cynical tone.Thanks ladies 🙂
Sharon, I had to tell her because she keeps sending him texts with messages that could be contrued as innocent or feeling him out. Certainly not strictly business related. Such as…. she knows I am handling the scheduling and he may or may not know where she is on any given day yet last week she sent ” Do you think Dr…… blank will be mean to me today” It was an office where we live and close to his house. The Dr. in the text has never been mean. My husband took it as her sending out her feelers and “innocently” letting him know she would be close by. ( She lives 2 hours away and often works 2-3 hours away) He has told her he is seeking treatment and is trying to repair his marriage numerous times and they are over. She just keeps sending little messages. Not overtly propositioning him, but enough that it isn’t normal business contact.
Unfortunately my SA did not discriminate. There are just as many single women as married. He liked a variety.
Hi Sharon and Lori,
Lori sat down and confronted the employee and told her to stay away from her husband AND everyone else in the company, like a professional boss would with someone who was sexually disruptive in work setting. She didn’t say stay away from my husband, anything else you do with people from work is okay….and that is probably what hit home with this employee. That this was about her job and how she conducts herself at work and with people she works with. We see it happen in workplaces regularly, where bosses have to have this kind of conversation with an employee….the difference is that Lori did it and her husband was one of the people who had been involved. Even without a personal involvement that is a hard conversation for bosses to have, I can’t imagine how difficult it was with the personal factors. I am really proud of you, Lori:)Thanks Marie,
Yes, I also had to counsel her on having sex with one of our physician/ clients . The doctor bragged about it to my husband last week. It was consenual, but opens the door to so many different issues. One is that our employees think she is being given preferential treatment by the clients because of her sexual “abilities” and the other is that this doctor is married. If his wife were to find out, he would likely be forced to drop our services. And then, what happens when things go south with them? I either can’t send her there and force other employees to travel further. Personal sexual relationships are just a bad idea I think. I know it is common, but it opens us up to a sexual harassment suit on many different levels.
Lori
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