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So,
SA sent a copy of his “treatment plan” to me by email. I couldn’t help it, I read it out of curiousity. His diagnosis? OCD, with Social Anxiety and Family of Origin issues.
The discharge criteria are to make progress towards taking responsibility for the impact of his behaviors, and maintain increased abstinence from obsessive compulsive behaviors.
Can you say BULLSHIT!!!
Step 1, anyone? He can be discharged from the program for making progress towards Step 1, owning up to his responsibility. For looking like he might be beginning to get past denial. And for demonstrating that he has “reduced” something he has still not been fully honest about his extent of immersion in.
Sigh
I have NO IDEA how much this is costing us.
131 days left
OCD people do not enjoy doing their compulsive behaviors. Critical distinction between sex addiction.
I know you are Lynn. It’s a load of bullshit. My SA was given that “diagnosis” once too. Treatment plan – they wanted to give him exposure therapy! You just can’t make this shit up.
OMG. And they are being paid for this? Lynn I think you need to fins your own programme. I’m thinking it is in Maui. Maybe at the 4 seasons. I am your counsellor. I’m really good.
Oh, please.. I have OCD, and oddly enough it doesn’t make me go out trolling for penises. Some of these
so-called ‘professionals’ have their heads rammed up their derrieres.I am pretty sure I have social anxiety (started after a few years with my SA. Never knew why). And I know I had “family of origin issues”. But I am not deviant sexually or any other way.
Annie, ewww. Your moment about trolling or penises just conjured up some seriously screwed up images. Cam you imagine acting that way? That comment, right there, so illustrates how fucked up these guys are.
Funny way back when I first found out about my husband’s affair with the hooker I wanted to have sex with every man I saw. Well not every man but every man that looked reasonable. I guess at that time I did imagine acting in that way. Did anyone else have those feelings?
Not really, I suppose only if I have revenge moments, where I think why am I not just going out and doing what he did to me? All seems so “simple” in that mind frame.
We don’t do it because we KNOW deep down that he wouldn’t really care if you did. We cannot do to them what they did to us because we loved them. They don’t love. Normal male/female interactions do not work with these guys. They are not normal.
I’m not interested in shaming myself and violating my personal moral code to try to get back at him. What I miss most is the sense of emotional intimacy during sex anyway. Not going to find that with a random stranger or strangers and you sure as hell don’t find it if you have to pay for sex! However, if I had the chance to have sex with someone who cared about me as a person? THAT would be awesome! I sometimes think about various men I’ve known and think how nice it would be if they told me they had loved me from afar all these years and now…
Exactly Bev, it’s the very thing that always brings me to my senses – that he wouldn’t even care or feel anything. He would also just use it to rationalize further cheating on me, ignoring WHY I did it in the first place.
Daisy, I want the emotional intimacy too with someone who actually likes me, not just a stranger’s penis.
I just want to say that I wasn’t judging anyone else’s decision. This is just me – as Patty the Millonaire Matchmaker says, “no sex before monogamy.” Which explains why I’ve only had sex with one person ever. Sadly, someone forgot to tell HIM about that meant no random sex AFTER monogamy too!
I haven’t been able to think about sex in a positive way in months. I can’t imagine ever wanting any man to touch me or even look at me in “that way” again. The thought of being touched physically makes me really uncomfortable and sick to my stomach. I hate even hugs from friends -even female friends. I am sure I visibly cringe.
At the same time, I know I have a deep emotional need for love, touch, and affection. And I’m afraid I’ll never be able to ave that need met again
Sex- blecchhhhh. Anytime I think of it, I just see his raunchy sex pictures.
I know I’ll get over that eventually. But not anytime soon.
i agree with sex-blecchhhh.
He tries and all I can do is stare at the wall and have a ticker tape going through my brain of his reply to all the CL ads ” Sounds like a good time, i’d like to join in. 5’11 160lb 8inch professional educated chat and more…”
blechhh I can’t imagine having sex with anyone b/c that is all it makes me think of
Anony- I feel very much the same as you- I get really uncomfortable and sick to my stomach with the though of physical touch. Yet at the same time I want someone to want me and only me….
Well, on Ashley Madison and other hookup sites it’s part of the standard information men list in their “about me” section. Think anyone tells the truth about that, either. NOT
My thoughts about sex with other men were so fleeting. I can’t even say that they were thoughts of revenge. Maybe it was about still feeling desirable. A doctor actually asked if I had had these thoughts so it must be quite common. Maybe an instinct. I would be interested to know if anyone else had them.
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