So, This Is How It All Ends. You Just Never Know What They Will Do

Well dear ones, I had a wonderful, peaceful nights sleep, my first one alone on the island. I feel so safe here and I have exceptional friends.

The incident that led to the police coming to my house to talk with Larry is that he was going in to one of the local grocery stores on the island and making inappropriate sexual remarks to the cashier.

The police did not arrest him as no charges were filed, but he was told that he was not allowed in that store any more, and even if his car was seen in the parking lot he would be arrested and charged.

Larry just blew it off as the police officer (Ryan) was talking to him, I asked what was said and Ryan said the woman didn’t want to go into details but she said he made sexual remarks and she never wanted him back in the store. Larry was just flippant and acted like it was not big deal. When I talked with Ryan yesterday he said he was surprised at how Larry was trying to minimize everything and showed no remorse or apology.

After Ryan left I asked (okay–I did raise my voice, but I wasn’t yelling or out of control) Larry what he said to this woman, he claimed all he said was that she looked really nice. Well, I told him that was fucking bullshit and I had had enough bullshit from him and I wanted answers.

He said he told her she looked good enough to have sex with. He said it was only once and that when she looked surprised he apologized.

I told him one of us was leaving, who did he want it to be. He said he would leave. We have talked about this before and he had agreed that if anything happened or if I decided the situation was not tolerable for me any more that he would leave and provide me with as much money as possible to keep the house.

At that point he assumed, and so did I, that he would spend a few days packing and finding an apartment in Tallahassee. I went downstairs and started some laundry, but just got a creepy feeling. Actually, it was more than a creepy feeling, I had a panic attack and felt unsafe.

Larry does have two guns up in his bedroom and he has threatened suicide many, many times. I guess my thoughts at that time were that he had nothing to lose by killing me and then himself.

So, I quickly packed some things and left. He did not even know that I left. I went to some really great friend’s house and spent the night. They are our Trivia buddies, we go twice a week to the local bars here on the island and play Trivia. We are actually the reigning champions. So, we talked for a while as I filled them in on what I knew about what happened, we had some wine, and Paul played the guitar while we all sang our favorite songs and Lani and I accompanied him with small drums. It was actually a phenomenal time. Paul said that no one can be sad when they are singing–and he was right.

I stayed the night there and the next morning I called Sandy Mitchem and went to her house. Sandy Mitchem is the head of the Island Watch, a security program that works directly with the Sherriff’s department and she also heads up the island’s Emergency Response Team. I have seen and talked with her quite a bit, so I consider her a good friend. She was the one that sent out this e-mail to everyone on the island just before Officer Ryan showed up at our house. Here is what was sent out to all the island residents:

Subject: Hello Team ! I need your help ! Keep an eye out for this individual..

Sandy

After talking with Sandy I decided that it was best if Larry left immediately. I was still worried about the guns, but he had called me twice so I knew he was still alive. I talked with him and asked him if he could pack up his stuff and leave within a few hours. He said, ‘What’s the rush?’ I said, ‘Because that’s what I want.’ He agreed.

Sandy wanted me to have a police escort when I went to the house, but I felt in my heart that everything was okay. Larry is always very passive when these things happen. And, he’s too chicken shit to commit suicide, and I saw him behaving in his usual manner, as if nothing had happened.

I called him just before I got to the house and told him to be outside with his bags. When I arrived I left the car in the driveway where I could see it from the house, not under the house and left him to put his bags in the car. I went into the house, locked the door and went upstairs to check on the guns. They were upstairs. If they had not been there I might have called for a police escort. But, they were and I felt safe. Oddly, the pistol was in his bedside nightstand. It has always been safely kept in the case high on a shelf in the closet.

So, I must say that I am kind of shocked at myself. I took this 65 year old man who has multiple health issues and mental problems and dumped him off at a Tallahassee motel with two suitcases and no car.

Too bad, so sad.

As for his possible early dementia, he was tested extensively last week by a psychologist who determined that he is not exhibiting signs of early dementia or Alzheimer’s but has ‘low working memory’, which is common in people with ADHD. This means that he cannot hold more than one or two thoughts in his head at one time. If I ask him to take the garbage out and bring up a screwdriver, he will forget the screwdriver. It is maddening behavior.

So, in following my own advice, and the wisdom of the Sisters, I wrote him an e-mail today, but I will not send it, I will post it here instead.

By the way, that is great advice. I wish I had had it years ago. If I sent it, it would allow him to engage with me again and give me some stupid, convoluted gaslighting bullshit.

So, here’s what I wrote:

I was at Sandy Mitchem’s house most of yesterday and I got more information about your actions as well as some wonderful support from her and the police officers that I spoke with.

I hope you will call your psychiatrist and tell her about this. You really need help.

I am feeling more relieved than anything else. I will crunch some numbers today to see how bad it’s going to be, and, if it really isn’t workable I will have to sell the island house.

But, as I posted before, that’s better than living with the ‘island pervert’.

Thank you all for your loving support. It’s strange to be on this end of it, but without your kindness and love I would not have been as cool and methodical as I was.

I love all of you my dear Sisters. ~ JoAnn