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Oh, I forgot, he has a credit card to pay for hookers.
Karen, that’s just how he is. He realizes that he really fucked up my life and in his own sick way he needs to financially flog himself to feel good about that.
Or, at least that’s how I see it.
Now, that could change in a minute. But, as I said before, he is over a barrel. He can’t show his face on this island again, or, if he does come back here no one will speak to him.
So, here’s this house in his name, that he can’t take care of and doesn’t want to, he wants to give me something to make up for all of his shit (there is not enough money in the universe) and he wants to play poor victim Larry, living in a cheapo furnished apartment with no friends.
Also, I think he plans to get a job in Tallahassee. With the economy I don’t see that happening, but let him have his illusions.
My name is on the deed, but only he is on the mortgage (he can’t sell it without my signature), so if I bail and fly away he is left holding the entire financial and physical burden and his little pea brain just can’t handle that.
If it changes tomorrow, I’m out of here free and clear. No problem. ~ JoAnn
JoAnn,
Sounds like you have your options all well thought out. Just remember “What is best for me” in all the choices you make. I think you will be fine JoAnn and we are all here to lean on. I’m sad this happened however he’s just an old creep and you deserve peace, love, and joy. You have a lot of living ahead of you!
Love, Nap xxooYes, ever since we separated in 2005 I have kept all the finances separate. He has his own credit cards and I have mine. All of my stuff is in a trust and he has signed off on everything.
So, it’s kind of what’s mine is mine and what’s his is half mine too. Or, in this case, about 78% mine.
I don’t mean to sound like a greedy bitch, but I knew way back then, when I first discovered all this shit, that I had to protect my finances no matter what, and I have.
(Delay in writing) He just called. He bought a used car, a 2011 Ford Focus and so that is taken care of. We will incorporate that car payment into the budget.
He has agreed that I will handle all of the finances, continue paying the bills, and he will spend as little as possible to allow me to keep the house.
So, for today anyway, I am safe and sound on my beautiful island with great friends, great weather and peace.
Love ~ JoAnn
I do understand what you are saying JoAnn. My H has always been good about putting the money in the bank but I have always felt it had strings attached- as in I have to see him to get it? I may be wrong about that and I think I may be getting closer to testing that theory. I’m tired of living with the chaos that is him (mainly related to his job these days) and I think I need more separation in my life. Which is saying a lot because he is far away and gone most of the time. IDK. I am mulling it over.
JoAnn,
You truly are an inspiration. I love that your focus is on keeping JoAnn safe (as it should be), First things first, you excised the cancer from your life and now, you’ve rolled up your sleeves,and with a cool head, are figuring out what needs to be done next. I have no doubt you will figure out how to keep your beloved island, or what is best for you.Thank you for sharing your story, it’s a wake-up call for those of us that are still with our SA. Life with a SA is unpredictable, ANYTHING can happen. Scenarios like this are a very real possiblity.
We love you JoAnn, and are behind you 100%,
Lady-BA promising turning point in your life. Things happen for a reason. It is a shame that poor young girl had to suffer from husband’s behaviour but I’m sure when you speak with her next week she will somewhat understand that he is sick and no longer a threat to her. You are capable and strong JoAnn and I have no doubt you will come through this and be happy. Hugs and kisses from down under.
Well Karen, maybe my situation is an inspiration for yours??????
I do believe that everything happens for a reason. Maybe you can rethink your financial situation and make some changes? You should not have to ask him for everything. That leaves him in control.
I don’t know your financial situation, but it sounds as if he does hold the purse strings. I really can’t imagine how you could change it, but there must be a way to find a loophole that will allow for a flow of income into a private account for yourself without him knowing about it.
Maybe the wheels have started turning?
Let’s think on that.
Love ~ JoAnn
Today is all we are promised anyway Jo….
Take care of you. Sending you love and hugs and a strong shot of something alcoholic ( your choice).
🙂Bev, I forgot about the Crown Royal in the bar cabinet. 😉
NAP, yes, I have Phantom and Sashie right here with me.
They are safe.
~ JoAnn
Well, since all seems safe here for the night, my friends have invited me over for spaghetti dinner,
I’ll bring the wine, they will supply the pot (opps. did I say that?) and we will sing folk songs, drum, laugh and be happy.
Oh, did I mention that they have a 1.8 mil house on the beach? Damn.
Sending all of you good energy, as I have some left over today.
Love to all of you ~ JoAnn
Joann,
Not much to add except I have complete faith that you will more than land on your feet and move on. It’s really just a shame to have to go through more drama and publicly, too, but that does seem to be the nature of the beast with these guys. Take care.
I’m still laughing that the island pervert will be cruising for whores in a Ford Escort……….. 🙂
I guess they had a worse rep back in the day
Man oh man, have a toke for me!!
Karen, I do believe you are sounding stronger and stronger these days. And I sure like the sounds of THAT!!
Perhaps JoAnn has paved the way for a real revolution!!!
with wrecked fenders and windshield wipers that don’t work in the rain and bald tires and the door frames leak from the trim being jacked up………you know the one, with the broken seatbelts 😉
Whores will ride in and on anything
I’m not getting a divorce SL so don’t get all excited on me. I’m leaning towards a more intensive separation. One where I don’t see him. EVER. 😉 I think it is time for me to try that and time for me to see how he reacts? I may be creating obstacles where none exist. It may be my own fear holding me back? Perhaps he will leave me to my own devices and keep the status quo financially. And then perhaps I would have to face the fact that my life is forever changed and what the Hell am I going to do about it….. Carpe Diem and all that good stuff. 😉
Exactly!!! I didn’t say anything about a divorce! I just said you were sounding stronger!! I’m all for it!! (whatever IT is, as long as Karen is happy and taken care of!!!!)
XO!!!
Joann, scary living in a home with an SA and guns. Glad you took good care of your safety through this. If you do the one-bedroom retreat, I will come. Love to you.
Yes, I can no longer blame my H if my life is not all that I want it to be? I have to try to improve it myself or recreate it. My hope is that he will accept it and just work and send the money- at least for a period of time. We will see….. Karen xx
PS wish I had a hot boyfriend. 😉
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