Sociopath

Okay sorry for the rambling today – but another topic from me.

Did you know that 1 in 25 people is a Sociopath? OMG! I had thought the term sociopath was kept to murderers and …well I don’t know what else.

My therapist recommended the sociopath next door. I was having a hard time wrapping my head around how someone could be so thoughtless, careless……the better term is lack of conscience. My stomach churned when I read this book and the descriptions. The authro says that they have no trace of empathy and no genuine interest in bonding emotionally with a mate. Their marriages are loveless, one-sided, and almost always short term. The only way the marriage partner has value is as a possession, one the sociopath may feel angry to lose, but never sad or accountable to or for.

This now answers my question of how someone could do this? How does he seem to not even care and no sorrow, empathy or effort to get better.

This, although sad for me, makes sense. He always appeared to be straining or fumbling on words or acting when he would try to explain things with feeling. IT is like he is acting or mimicking what he should do…because that is what he is doing. He cannot figure this out for himself, because he has no conscience or emotional attachment to work from. This is why I always have to tell him what to do (and he asks me to tell him what to do or asks what he should do)…because he truly does not know. And then when he does not do it (like getting a job), he truly feels no guilt, because his life is to be lived for him and no one else. We are just a cover and a link to normal, just like the sex addicts and the addiction. He has often complained of feeling empty and hollow…just like in the book. He had hoped that we the family could/would fill that void, but it did not work. In addition he does exhibit the thrill seaker behavior with the addictions to pot and sex.

I on the other hand never had a clue anything like this existed, and have a strong overpowering conscience. As in the book she talks about how they get away with it. Because many cannot comprehend what it would be like to have no conscience and do not even realize a thing or disorder like this exists (that is how the skate through life, praying on our lack of knowledge of such things).

When I spoke of my first husband to people they would say that he is a sociopath. I did not comprehend as I thought that word was reserved for serial killers. So it would not surpise me that my dad is a sociopath as well, thus completing the picture and the tape that is playing is now evident. My past is that all the men have been sociopaths, and I keep replaying this in my life.

I think that I have finally solved my puzzle. I think I will file for divorce this week. I have given the SA more than enough time (a year + to be exact), but no time cures a sociopath and he will never turn around. No doubt in my mind that after a year later I should see some signs of positive progress in recovery and toward our relationship.

PS. this book is written by a lady who sees the effects of trauma of the betrayal of those whose lives have been torn apart by a sociopath. Very interesting.