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While walking down 5th Avenue today I saw BVLGARI’s holiday serpent installation. It is really beautiful and I can’t wait to shoot it at night. I thought of my sisters and wanted to share it with all of you. I posted the photo in the Holidays folder.
are you a photographer bren? i’d love to see your work! are you in NYC? lili from posarc is there. i highly recommend her as a coach. she has saved my life and soul….
Lisacay, Yes, I am in New York. I am an artist, just getting into photography, and an interior designer. My website is http://www.bbauerny.com. Thanks so much for asking. I am SO glad you shared this information about Lilli from POSARC being in New York. I will look into it right away. I am so happy that she helped you and sounds like she was a gift from the gods for you.
Seeking Peace, what a lovely beautiful thing to say about my website. I truly appreciate it and the thought of making you smile brought tears to my eyes. I know that you are going through so much. If you ever need anything please reach out to me. We can email, talk, SKYPE.
Harmony, thank you thank you thank you. I am going to start painting again. I’ve been busy with the interior design. I definitely feel that creating art and taking photos are going to help me heal right now.
Debora, that is an incredible thing to say about me and my work … now I am smiling and I have tears in my eyes. So many years with my SAH and with each year my light dimmed to the point where I just wanted to give up. I lost all sense of worth and value. It is coming back so so slowly. What would I do without my beautiful sisters? I am eternally grateful.
OK, I do not have tears in my eyes, I am actually crying right now. I appreciate that you all took the time to see my work and let me know your thoughts. There is hope. Not maybe or must be? Hope lives here now. Thank you.
bren, all i can say is wow. wow. beautiful.
i’ll be in nyc in late summer/fall… would love to meet you someday.
Lisacay, thank you. I just spent the last 10 minutes sobbing. I need to say thank you to my sisters! I did not realize that I needed the love and attention so much! Please, please let me know when you will be here and if you need a place to stay you are more than welcome to stay with me. I am on the Upper West Side a 1/2 block off of Central Park.
How absolutely lovely!
Do we need a directory of places to stay? So many of the Sisters, myself included, would love to have another Sister stop by and stay a while.
What do you think? Should I set up a Directory? ~ JoAnn
bren, i need to tell you something about me, when someone offers something like that, i show up! so i’ll see you in the summer or fall if not before!
girl, you deserve that love and attention. take it all in. take it all in….
Wow Bren!
I repeat one of my very first questions on this site from when it first started. What the FUCK is wrong with these men? You sisters are gorgeous, intelligent, sassy, smart.
Are they so floored and overwhelmed by that that they cannot cope and need to destroy? I just don’t get it.Thanks, Lisacay … I can cook too. I will make a you lovely dinner and we can walk in Central Park. I truly look forward to seeing you someday soon and getting to know you. Thanks for your support.
Thanks, Jos. I truly appreciate your kind words of encouragement and support. I was thinking today while I was walking, STILL shaking my head, why would he want to spend time with a worn out looking woman who clearly is into porn (saw her on his Facebook page) instead of having a real, loving relationship with me? I will NEVER understand it.
Hi Bren,
Thanks so much for sharing your wonderful work! And yes, you are just stunning. I hope it helps to hear us to tell the truth about how we see you, experience you and enjoy you!
D.xoThanks, Diane. I appreciate your kind words. WOW I really had a moment earlier where I released a lot of pain. It was totally unexpected. Thanks for your support and encouragement. It truly makes a difference. I spent too many years living in his whirlwind gasping for air just to get him to truly focus on me (other than himself).
I think Jos asked a really valid, poignant question: Is there something about us–beauty, goodness, talent–that they MUST destroy, that they can’t tolerate because of their own self-hatred? We’re kind, decent people. We are artists and writers and musicians and counselors and ministers and scientists…We have empathy and are capable of real love. Do they feel compelled to ruin us?
March we are all those things you said in your post. When amazing women like us love them (and they feel so unloveable) we provide validation for them and all they do – at least in their minds. When the end comes and they lose what made them feel okay about themselves, they have to turn us into the enemy because we have now somehow betrayed them. My opinion.
Jesus Bren!,
If I had your looks and your talent I wouldn’t be wasting my time on that sack of shit you married. I would patch up my heart and get on with my life and find myself a real man, a good man and give him all that spiritual energy and inner zen stuff. More than impressed…..you are going to be ok.
Karen xxKaren, that is incredibly sweet. He is a sack of shit. I know it now. Honestly, if you zoom into the photo you’ll see the wrinkles and my nose is slightly crooked. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I am moving in the right direction. I can feel it. Up and onward!
Jos and March,
Early on, my H said he felt like we were the cowboy and the lady. I didn’t feel the way.
As soon as we were married he needed to “corral me” because he was afraid of being hurt by my independence.
He said he was always for the underdog. I asked him why, when I was broken, he didn’t have that empathy for me. “Because you were not an underdog.”
“I was jealous of you, that you loved yourself and could forgive yourself.”
“I was vindictive and punished you for your failures while I lied to you about mine to protect myself.”
He hid behind his false super-ego and my strength. By the time I had seen his mask slip and my self esteem had been eroded by the continual power-over, his fear of me turned into a rage against me because I was not allowed to be weak like him. There were particular instances where I was indecisive or whiny weak about a decision and when he saw himself in me he would attack me, (but really he was attacking himself). Ellen’s right here, that is the endgame according to all experts on narcissim, once they are exposed, it’s game over. Once they see us as a human being instead of their “dream girl or Mommy” they can the justify devaluing and punishing. Once they know that WE see the process, the curtain pulled back on the great and powerful Oz, they rage or disappear. My H said to me the other day that everytime this happens, he leaves. He doesn’t even know how classic all his narc answers and behaviors are. I don’t want to know it either but there it is.
As long as they can control and better yet, have our cooperation in the captivity, they are King Baby. My H says he wants me to be happy, that he is not the man I need. Instead of stepping up to the challenge he has disappeared form the marriage. Believe behavior. When they lose their grip on us then I do believe they want to destroy us.
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