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I have been in contact with Betty Male, the attorney who was on our site for a while. She has graciously agreed to an interview.
What questions would you like me to ask her? ~ JoAnn
When certain personal (emotional, financial, physical, ability to work, sexual) harms are caused some populations have legal recourse. Children and women who have clear evidence of sexual and physical abuse have recourse for the harms caused.
What is our current path to being compensated for harms caused to us? For holding the SA accountable?
What changes in the legal system need to take place to better achieve said compensation and accountability goals?
How can I help?
I think this is a great idea JoAnn. As much as I am always willing to help the sisters with legal advice, I’m not a practicing attorney so my knowledge is somewhat dated (I do try to keep up but it isn’t always easy) and until I get a law library position, my research access is limited. Betty should be an invaluable resource. I just ask that the sisters keep in mind that domestic relations law varies WIDELY across jurisdictions since it is almost all state-level law. It will be impossible for Betty to know the law in each and every jurisdiction off the top of her head so questions that are general in nature (what is the difference between a annulment and a divorce?) rather than specific to a particular jurisdiction (what child support would I be entitled to?) will be much easier for her to answer.
You Rock Daisy!
Yes, this would be a ‘general’ Q&A session and could include advice on getting finances in order, explanation of legal terms, as you suggested, and probably a gazillion things I haven’t thought of yet.
That’s why I need all of you to give me direction. ~ JoAnn
Thank you JoAnn. 🙂 Here are some suggestions:
1- What is (generally speaking) discoverable? Email accounts, bank accounts, social media accounts, etc.
2- What financial information should I collect? What financial information should I request from my spouse during the divorce?
3- What should I do if I think my spouse is hiding assets?
4- How do I find a good attorney in my area? What resources should I try?
5-What is a QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) and when do I need one?
6-What are some suggestions for cutting down on my legal fees? What work could I do on my own?Taxes, what about filing separately as opposed to filing jointly. My SA argued against this because he was not “prepared” to do this, he did not have the right withholdings so it would be cash out of pocket instead of a refund. I was furious, because I told him when he was doing paperwork for his new job in May that I wanted to do this separately since I have no input into the filing, and no idea what he did on the house sale or the closing of his retirement accounts. He has lied to me about money too often, I am completely uncomfortable with joint filing.
What can you do legally if someone files incorrectly, in retrospect?
Maybe a better question for an accountant, but the IRS site said to ask an attorney, too.
What about a subscription to Westlaw (a legal search engine)? So sisters can search answers and precedents themselves? Can the website offer one on a fee basis? Does the person ordering the subscription have to have an active bar association membership?
Lynn, I may be wrong, but I don’t think he can file jointly without your signature. Maybe Daisy could step in on that one, but I will also include tax questions in the interview. ~ JoAnn
He did it last year, signed it electronically. I found out weeks later. Didn’t raise a stink because frankly I didn’t want to talk to him. But now, it’s a different ball game.
Thanks 🙂
How about the legalities involved in recording our spouses both audio and video. I know sometimes it’s not allowed as evidence in some trials, but in divorce? Not sure. And probably, again, differs by jurisdiction.
Disclaimer: I am no tax expert. But I am quite sure that it is not legal for a joint return to be submitted without the review of the “electronically” signing spouse. My H submits our joint returns electronically but ONLY after he has printed out and let me review the return. It is not an informed consent if you do not get to review the document you are “signing.” You are absolutely right to be concerned Lynn because if he fucks up the return or causes a tax liability, you are equally liable under a joint return. And the IRS will not care at this point if you claim you did not get to review the returns. If you think the legal system has no mercy, the IRS is much, much worse!
Westlaw and LexisNexis are the two biggest legal search engines. They are both paid subscription sites. It used to be that you could get an individual membership but the last time I checked, their membership is now limited to law firms and academic institutions. The subscriptions available to general academic institutions (like university libraries) are more limited – you do not have access to all their databases. You also used to be able to get pay per use plans but I don’t know if those are still available. I can check the Lexis and Westlaw web sites to see what’s available. Lexis is headquartered here in Dayton and I know people who work there so if I can’t find the information online, I’ll call my friends and see what they say. I will say this, you really need some training to get the full benefit of the sites. They are not particularly user friendly for those without legal training. I used to teach legal research and writing for a paralegal program so I know how difficult it can be to learn to navigate the sites. I am still a member of the Ohio Bar Association so if membership is limited to attorneys or members of a bar association, that is not an impediment.
Lynn, I will look into this more, and you might want to check on the irs site too. We had a Sister whose husband had not filed in years and she didn’t know it. Because they were married she was also responsible for back taxes and penalties.
Two things I do remember about that. First, is it doesn’t matter if you file jointly or separately, if you are married you can be liable if your husband does something fishy with the filing.
And second, there is a ‘innocent spouse’ relief that may protect you from prosecution, here is info on that:
http://www.irs.gov/Individuals/Introduction-to-Innocent-Spouses.
Hope this helps ~ JoAnn
Well, if it’s so hard to use, it might not be worth it for sisters in general. I used it years ago, early 90’s and it wasn’t too bad then. Maybe if we get to the point of having legal services provided (even for a small fee) the fees could pay (even partially) for the legal advocates’ subscription?
Thanks, JoAnn. I saw that innocent spouse site this morning but didn’t save it. I really don’t think there’s any way to be 100% safe from his antics until the divorce is final. Even then, I’ll be holding my breath for a while afterwards, wondering what else could happen.
The reason it’s hard for laypersons to use them is because you have to have a working knowledge of legal terms in order to formulate a good search. They both have an “easy search” function but the results are generally not as accurate as the regular Boolean search function that the systems were designed to accept. If you want to “test drive” either provider, most academic libraries offer access to the limited version to the general public for free. Some public libraries have subscriptions as well. The major downside to the “limited” version is you don’t have access to the “creditor” type databases that the full versions have. You can get information on criminal and civil filings against individuals as well as a history of their previous addresses, and other good “tracking” data that creditors use to check credit risk and attorneys use to look for assets to attach for judgment purposes.
I think it would be helpful to just know how to interview an attorney, how to find a good one in your area…some basic skills for sisters that have never used the legal system at all. Attorneys are like therapists. Some are quacks. If there were some guidelines or at least some “avoid this or that” type info….
Lynn, any tax returns that were filed while you are married can be audited at a later date and you, because you were married that time, will also be liable for any tax or penalties owed, even if you are divorced.
Be sure to bookmark the innocent spouse site just for your own protection. ~ JoAnn
I looked at both the Lexis and Westlaw sites but they give no pricing information because they want you to get all that through a sales rep. Lexis does have “solutions” for non-profit corporations, political organizations and such like. I’m sure Westlaw does too.
It might be nice to differentiate the law when it comes to domestic partners or unmarried couples. For example, I think something like eblaster could be illegal if not married. Also the concept of marital waste… Which I think basically means all the money they spent on prostitutes could get reallocated to increase a spouses 1/2 in divorce. And definitely custody– is their precedent anywhere where SA plays a role in custody…
I second what Eliza said about “waste and dissipation” (that is the term a lawyer I met with used) – what proof is needed to show that the money was spent on the SA activities? Are your bank records enough – how do you prove that it was spent on that stuff? If H admits it verbally – do you need written proof? I suppposed this could vary per jurisdiction but a general sense of what info/evidence is needed would be helpful.
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