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My kids go to an awesome Boys & Girls Club after school. Every year they have a spaghetti dinner and my husband and I went last night. I have a loud laugh. Some people say it is obnoxious, some people say it is infectious. 😉 So anyway a friend of mine came in and said something funny, so I laughed. We were sitting with other people, he said “calm yourself, you are piercing my ears.” And he said it so mean! Then the woman was talking about how she had been getting home late because of basketball and the kids had been going to bed after 10. My husband says, well, that’s past her (me) bedtime…by 4 hours. He said this so snarky. I had been falling asleep on the couch early because I’ve been miserable!!! He was such an asshole to me. He’s my husband. He’s supposed to be a friend and he acts like he doesn’t even like me. I’m really really noticing this now and wondering how I put up with it for so long!
This morning he was all over me again about the new job. Saying I’ll fail, that I’ll ruin my family, that he should get a say. I said I’ll figure it out. He said I wouldn’t. I said I got this. He said no you don’t. He said he should have a say. I said nope.
If I had a “normal” husband, he would be so happy for me. He would be saying let’s do whatever we can to make this easier. I love you and I’m so proud of you for getting this opportunity. You are so smart and special. We can do this together.
But alas, I do not have a normal husband. I have a SA, Narc, asshole husband who thinks the world revolves around him and only cares about what makes his life easier.
I think he’s so scared. He doesn’t want to do more to help with the kids, or anything actually, and he wants me to stay financially dependent on him so I can’t leave.
You know what sisters? I GOT THIS.
Last Straw,
It’s soooo great that you are recognizing the emotional abuse. Use that knowledge to get him out of the house!!
Go file today….. He’s an asshole and you know it. You deserve so much better.
Deb
LS, i read your post and by the end, all I could think of is that I am not a violent person, but I really want to come over and beat your husband up. So glad you got this!
LS,
your post give me the chills lately. i’m so happy to read them and so happy for you and proud of you.
xo
lisa
LastStraw, You really do “got this”. WOW! So happy you can see the mess he is, and that you had the courage to believe in yourself with all that negativity surrounding you. Keep up the amazingly good self-care you are doing. We love you.
Oh I so love to see you getting stronger, LS! You sure as hell GOT THIS! He is too stupid and ignorant to appreciate you but WE are incredibly proud of you!
Honey, you just laugh any old way you want. You’ve earned it.
Just the way you earned that job.
Your guy knows that as soon as you accomplish something, he’s at risk, so he just beat your down. Bastard. Not someone to be sharing your life with.
Get to a lawyer, Get the plan. Get the hell away from him.
D.xoLast Straw…..you are really coming into your own. EVERYTHING you say is correct. Totally correct. He is afraid. I am patiently waiting for you to post that you have seen a lawyer to protect the income from your new position. Your H is a particularly abusive man and he has done so much damage to you. But now as Nap said…you are fully awake. You come here and you tell us about your feelings and your life with him and we all agree with you 100%. We are a pretty clever group so you know that it is unlikely he could be right and we are wrong? Beware that he may soon try the “nice guy” routine on you. Don’t fall for it. The man you were with at the school last night is who your husband is and that is the only fact you need to keep front and centre. We are so proud of you. It is a privilege to watch you grow and blossom. I cann’t wait to see you pierce his eardrums when you are laughing all the way to the bank…… 😉 Karen xx
I love you guys so much. I just gave my notice. So there is no going back now. My boss was super sad, of course because I do everything, but he understands that I have to take the new job. I was sweating telling them, because I hate that. But guess what! I just did it. Another notch on my belt of doing things I find uncomfortable with class.
I’m growing up girls! Growing up!I am SO happy for you! You really give me hope. I want to hold my head up high and I want to know I will be alright eventually. You make me think it is possible. Be SO PROUD of yourself, because if you managed to land this wonderful job in the midst of all of the SA shit – you are one amazing woman!
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