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One of the sweetest sisters wrote on another post that she had to look up what a certain sex act was.
I wanted to bump that to a separate post.
I don’t think I have ever read anyone say that they had to look up what certain sex acts were because they did not know what it was.
For some reason it never occurred to me that having to look up strange sex acts might be something that spouses of SA might have in common. It seems pretty basic, but yea, now that you mention it………
I had to look up what some strange sex acts were.
I learned more about sex than I would have liked to know. I feel like it has exposed me to things that I would have rather not known exits.
Has anyone else had to look up certain things?
I have.
What new and exciting (oh puke!) things did you discover Cindy? Let’s put it all out there and call this dark spade a spade.
Some things that I discovered I wish that I did not find out about. And, depending on my frame of mind, sometimes it was literally sickening, sometimes laughable, sometimes I just wanted justice for the victims.
Sometimes I wondered, ‘Is that really physically possible?’ and sometimes I wondered how much it would hurt.
Sometimes I wondered ‘Who in the hell would think that THAT was sexually exciting’ and sometimes I was disgusted.
But what I was not was sexually titillated.
I guess if it is not in our normal repertoire of intimate activities, and, if we have to look it up to figure out what it is, then it falls outside of the ‘norm’ of sexual behaviors.
Or, to put it in more simple terms, they are just all fuckin’ perverted nuts. ~ JoAnn
Yes I had looked things when I was in the discovery mode of who the hell was this man I was married to,
It was very sick what I had discovered and I wish I had never looked it up as I feel my innocence was taken away from me,
The DASAH was into anal sex which I would never have with him because I thought it was quite disgusting and abnormal; so he went out seeking it some where else and he practiced that regularly and loved it with the whore he was seeing for few years,
So I looked up on the internet what people say about it,,,there are all kind of opinions on it, but I don’t care what are the opinions, it is so disgusting and sickening to me,
I don’t know why people turn the act of sex into some kind of sickening games, when it is supposed to be an act of love and adoration for each other body, heart and mind…
I am now about to throw up when I think of all that, in another post I mentioned that I had found a bag with stuff in it including some sex toys, which has something to do with the anal sex, I never looked it up but that was what he told me, I had found the bag in his apartment but he apparently used to keep it in his car, but he cleaned his car and had left it in his apartment where I found it, I am keeping that bag as a souvenir in addition to many other souvenirs I have from all these discoveries about this sick man, I had got a hell of big education on all acts of sick sex in the last one year that I never cared to know about before.
Shall we start the list with the soft stuff?
Bondage. Handcuffs (soft or hard) that prevent you from moving about or going anywhere. You are trapped (god that scares the shit out of me, I am claustrophobic). You cannot go to the bathroom, scratch your nose or move your arms into a more comfortable position.
Bondage. Ankle cuffs. Same as above but for your legs and feet.
Bondage. Collars that will choke you if you move.
Bondage. Mouth gags that prevent you from speaking, swallowing or closing your mouth.
Okay, who’s next? ~ JoAnn
Yeah, Larry was into anal too.
Sigh.
My back door is a one way street and for one purpose only–which is done very privately with the bathroom door shut. ~ JoAnn
Ok, well, barf……..
I was not going to call a spade a spade cause I did not want to upset anyone, but hey, I guess I can put it out there.
So one of the woman that my stbX shared emails with talked about how she has a special talent of what is called …milking the prostrate….
I just threw up… again !!!!!!!! If you want to know what that is, I will share, but eeeeWWWWWWW!!!!
And do you know what a glory hole is? And it is not a female part.
Yes. I had to look up ‘glory hole’ too.
They stick their dick into a hole in the wall in a public bathroom (even in the malls) and someone on the other side will suck them off.
My first thought about that was, ‘What if someone on the other side is waiting with a machete?’
Too bizarre. ~ JoAnn
Oh, and Cindy, milking a cow is a whole lot more satisfying than sticking my finger up my partner’s asshole and massaging his prostate.
Although, I have to say that I have done that and if done in a loving way with a man who reciprocates with pleasuring you in any way you chose, it can be fun.
Sorry Cindy, I really don’t mean to offend you, but this is the ‘call a spade a spade’ topic. ~ JoAnn
What the F!!! is it about anal sex. I’ve tried it. Hated it. How any woman could enjoy it is beyond me. Calls for lots of ‘ointment’ after, and I also hate the word ointment. Only did it to humor him, but it wasn’t worth it. I don’t get their fascination with it. What’s so great about sticking your dick in someone’s bunghole?
I have a theory that they are all just gay. They want oral and anal sex…. Isn`t that what homosexual males do? For the life of me I can`t figure out the difference between a male mouth/asshole and a female….
So, they are gay:)
Well, hookers will claim they love it (anal sex). ?@#&????
I agree March. I tried it once with my first husband and was not impressed. That is not where MY pleasure center is. And, aren’t our men supposed to be doing things that pleasure US? Aren’t they supposed to be getting pleasure because they are giving us pleasure?
But Larry says that it is really tight. So, I guess that’s the draw?
Fuck him.~ JoAnn
Because it’s dirty, unnatural, forbidden…so it must be great! I imagine it is much better for them than for us. We tried it once in 25 years ago. He wanted both holes filled. Him in the backdoor, vibrator in front. That was it.
During that early period he also wanted to pee on me and he wanted me to pee on him. I let him do it on my backside in the shower so I could wash it off but I couldn’t do it to him. I’m sick about posting this. I realized much later that he could urinate on me but not kiss me. Ugh… sickening. I feel so ashamed that I let him do that to please him. How degrading.
He would also hold my ponytail back hard during sex, like a rape fantasy, although he never told me his thoughts about that.
And that was pretty much all of our kinky sex, except for the time in Hilton Head Island when he wanted to take pictures of his penetrating me. I always wondered if he did anything weird with those photos. So sad that it was both the most fun and the worst experience of my marraige because he used me like a prostitute and rolled over to call his son (sweetheart). He was into taking naked pics during that vaca. Now I know that he was into porn at that time, I had no idea. I think it would have been fun to take pics or make our own movie for ourselves if it was possible to have it between us and not as object fantasy material. I also would have wanted to dance or strip for him, to wear sexy lingerie, for us to play, but he was too reserved. See, that would have made me the whore and we couldn’t have that! Fucking asshole, who stole my sex life!
Someone where I worked told me about an article in a dirty mag about the guy eating her feces. Mmmm, now that sounds appetizing.
I had to look up ‘rimming.’ Then I hung my head over the toilet. Nothing gets that close to my butthole except the Charmin, thanks just the same.
Thanks Debora,
We should never be ashamed of erotic things we do with the man we love. Try it, if we like it we’ll do it again, if not, that’s okay too.
That is so, so different from what these men do. It has nothing to do with fun, or playing or intimacy.
And yes, the ‘bathroom’ fetishes seem rampant among Sex Addicts. Forbidden? Altered development? Whatever.
I am not a prude by any means, but secretive, sordid activities, bought and paid for, solitary, non intimate, non loving sexual activities are just not something I want in my life, or even something I want to know about.
We have all had our innocence taken away. Not the innocence of youth or naivety, but the innocence of loving and being loved. The innocence of playful discovery. The innocence of joyful intimacy.
They stole that from us. ~ JoAnn
Ok, I am hurling over here…….
I just have to say that I can be a very fun girl, but my backdoor is closed, has always been closed, and I don’t participate in milking others backdoor.
But, hey, I’m not judging, what ever turns your crank.
Just don’t appreciate reading about my husband doing it with some skank!!!!
Just sayin……….
anniem,
I missed your post. You are crackin me up. Nothing gets close other than charmin..
ROGLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!A few months before discovery, Greg had started “choking” me during sex. Not hard, but it wasn’t comfortable. I figured I’d let him have his weird little fantasy…
Geez… I got the pulling ponytail/hair and “choking” thing too. Nothing that actually hurt, but I wouldn`t put it on my top ten funsies list.
I may never have sex again and that`s a shame. I actually enjoy sex.
Mine would “accidently” start to put it up my ass, and I would holler because it hurts. He would just pretend like he he didn’t realize what he was doing. I just recently found a website for one of his prostitutes that seems to specialize in anal sex.
I had to look up a LOT of stuff from his S&M ad. Seems like there’s a whole ‘nother language. Which makes sense because it is completely foreign to me.
I was cracking up. “Milking the prostrate”. I’d have had to look that up a week ago!!! But my husband had an appointment with his urologist and came back with one hell of a story that tells me exactly what that is.
I have yet to hear of anything new in the past ten years until the milking thing. My XBF was such a SA to the extreme though so I probably heard it all then. It didn’t help that he worked for a porn company. He wanted to be choked, bit, etc. I hated him so much most of the time that I told him, “as long as you don’t touch ME, I’ll beat the living shit out of you if that’s what turns you on.”
Rimming, squirting, golden sbowers, fisting, snowballs, lumpkin….
I heard another new thing today (my H’s urologist has been a wealth of knowledge) He said some guys get off on shoving things UP their dick. Like a coat hanger. That one left me dumbfounded.
Anal sex seems like pretty plain vanilla behavior compared to what’s out there.
Okay Kim, I had to go look up those last two (and I thought I had heard everything).
I think I’ll go take a shower with steel wool and scrub myself clean after reading about them. ~ JoAnn
Ya, I told Steve if he wants to feel pain – I’d show him pain. Think it might be a little more than he might have wanted.
Maybe? Maybe not. If looking at Elephant Stomping porn, I doubt I could do much to top that.
Isn’t it ironic how there is a fine line between anger and hate. I have actually plotted how I would make him suffer.
Now I’m indifferent!!
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