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7 yrs ago I miscarried. It was pretty obvious I was miscarrying just days after the dr confirmed I was pregnant. I laid in bed keeping my feet up hoping that would help stop things but to no avail. I called my h earlier bawling to let him know. He walked into the bedroom after work and asked “What’s for dinner?”
I know, right?
When discussing our ex’s one time I made a comment that after meeting the grown kids (he raised them) and them being pretty attractive (mainly the son) I was a bit surprised to later see that his ex wife was kinda homely looking.
He said “I fell in love with her because of her kids. I fell in love with you despite you having kids” which he clarified because of the wth? look I gave him to mean he fell for me as a person, kids or no kids.
I can’t think of anything to top that For Now. I keep re-reading that first paragraph and trying to figure out how it is that you let him live. Seriously. You could’ve killed him and gotten away with it. Even in Texas.
I know. I was beside myself. He said later that he knew I was upset and was trying to keep me distracted. Right, like getting up and walking around fixing dinner was in my best interest that night. Not to mention I had no appetite.
Thoughtless at best.
He told me once years ago that I should get a job working at a bookstore. This was when I had 2 kids under the age of 5. I laughed until I could hardly breathe and all of my fiends laughed hysterically. It wasn’t about me working or not ( we didn’t need the money). He was trying to be helpful about finding something that would make me happy and get out of the house away from the kids. The reason it was so ludicrous is that anyone that knows me knows that I would last about 2 seconds in any sort of retail job involving the public…..
He pouted about that forever (the laughing part) and finally admitted we were laughing at him. NO ONE was laughing at him, they were laughing at me and my inability to deal with the ignorant public in general. No patience on my part.
Another big red flag that he did not know me at all. And he was determined to make everything about him.
My friends just realized I was a smartass and wouldn’t even make it thru the employee training. They were making jokes about a poor customer actually asking me where the romance fiction was located and me saying some smartass answer like ” right where the fucking sign says romance fiction dummy…”.
He even brought that up years later as …we hurt his feelings and he was just trying to help….poor baby had to f a lot of hookers to get over that one…..
For now, wtf, this is unbelievable how thoughtless, mindless freaking idiots they could be.
Bev, these men act like they have no balls but with a big penis, I am not sure how it works, fucking cowards.
My daughter Georgia is like you, Bev. God help the general public if she’s ever forced to deal with them.
I had gained quite a bit of weight during my first pregnancy mainly because I was on complete bedrest for 20 weeks. I could only get up to shower or go to the bathroom. I had to lay on my left side only. (I had preeclampsia and was swollen up with pitted edema and all my reflexs were super hyper. My grandmother had a stroke in childbirth). Anyway, everything turned out well except it took a while for the 60 pounds to come off.
My daughter was about 2 and I had lost about half the weight but was feeling good and thought I looked good so I asked him if he thought I looked better than 2 yrs ago and his response was “Let’s just say you look like you’ve reached maximum density”.
W
Oh these guys are something else. When I was dating my husband, I forget what we were talking about, but it might have been long term relationships I think. He said, “no one has ever stuck around to deal with me very long.” I should have jumped out of the car. Nope, I married him.
When I didn’t work for three months with a new baby, my husband’s answer for everything was “YOU DON’T WORK”
And of course I got the you can’t do that, you aren’t smart enough, you are lazy.
One of my favorites was when my friend sent me some Self Esteem CDs. He saw them on the counter, and said, “What do you need these for? So you can be happy and single?”
See he knew if I got more self esteem I would leave!! He knew!
I have tons of things I could put here…
I started having an arrythmia (PSVTs) that caused my heart to race and I would almost pass out with one of my early Ddays. He was usually not around when they occurred. One day he was. We were unloading the groceries from the car, and I laid down on the pavement so I wouldn’t pass out and hit my head. He came up and stood over me. I pointed at my heart. He said, “Are you okay?” and stood there a second then walked off like nothing happened.
Last summer my stomach was swollen and I was having a lot of pain because of an as-yet undiagnosed gall bladder problem. He told me he thought my swollen abdomen was “cute” and he didn’t mind it all. (And he wouldn’t help me find a doctor.)
My son had a lot of speech and eating problems when he was young that required therapy 3 times per week plus exercises at home. He was high maintenance in other ways as well. I have arthritis and herniated discs in my back and neck and osteoarthritis is my ankle. My STBX wanted me to be the groundskeeper/landscaper at this office so he could put me of payroll, and we could invest more.
Do not get me started…
Maximum density??? I only laughed reading that Nap because I was picturing you giggling if you were to tell me that story.
I think our husbands being at their height of stupidity classifies them as having reached maximum density.
March, my Dad’s name was Jack. Larry Jack in full. I used to laugh when he got Christmas cards from people who didn’t really know him and they addressed it to Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence John ______. Nope, just Larry Jack. My Grandma was full blooded hillbilly – none of that fancy pants name shit for her boys. 😀
“I thought fucking other people would be good for our marriage because it would be less pressure on you.”
ClareK how thoughtful of him. You could do the same with all the manly household chores, the dates to nice restaurants, the intimate foot massages…
TWATS!!
My husband used to say similar.
THe one that told me most about him which again was another fucking red flag that I somehow ignored was “I dont respect you”
FUCK!! what a number he did on me.
i don’t respect you. that takes the cake. makes me want to strangle him.
this is probably the most utterly ridiculous thing DW’s ever said (post-discovery)
‘i love you in the deepest sense of the word’
haahahahahahahaha! deep. he’s about as deep as a kiddy pool
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