- This topic has 6 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 9 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
To the best of your knowledge, what is your exSA’s life like now that you are gone? Are they happier? Thriving? Have they moved on to the next victim? Are they still employed? Have they chosen to get help? Are they in the height of their SA glory?
I thought this question might help sisters in the struggling what to do mode, to see what they could possibly expect once they choose to take the plunge. IMO, one of the things that goes through your mind is – what will happen once I’m gone?
In my case, he lost his job of 32 years just 5 incredible days before our mediation! Talk about being thrown for a loop! It worked out in his favor, sort of, because he did receive a years severance pay (bimonthly) and his “new” girlfriend at the time (via the singles sites of course) helped him get a great job at Rolls Royce. So, he has double income at the moment and no wife spending his money. Yay for him!! (insert sarcasm)
Oh yeah, and then he dumped the girlfriend. Now, that takes some balls!!! (but according to one of his profiles, he’s “hung like a horse), so I s’pose that includes his balls as well. Gawd….
I still have access to the key logger on my old computer that I left with him and he is a dumbass- so the stealth reports still come to my email! Sigh…. So there he sits, in my beautiful ex home, typing away all his lies and stories to any female who will listen.
Glad I stopped Being one of them!!!
Love,
SL
I am in the process of divorce.
He actually surprised me with papers one week after my son got married. Although we were struggling in our marriage and he had moved out, I did not know that he was wanting to divorce me. I thought that he was working on himself and I was processing all of the ugly SA business.
It has been less than a year and he has already moved out of his rental home and moved in with his girlfriend. He moved with out telling our children (22 and 24) that he has a new residence. NICE!!!
All of his SA behavior seems to carry on, regardless if he is under the same roof as me or not. I can say that I could not handle his self righteous attitude while living in the same house. His behavior was classic “poor me” I got caught, and how dare you be angry about the fact that I use prostitutes. He would say “I even went to Sex Addiction counseling and took care of my issue, so you can’t hang this over my head”…..
What ever……….I don’t really know what’s up with my ex. He loves his secrets still and so that’s how he lives. He moved, bought a house next to our common property, took a new job in town but it’s just temporary. I don’t understand what he’s doing. He seems to be back in contact with his emotionally incestuous mother.
Um, my ex still lives with me, goes to 12-step meetings, therapy, adoption support group. Still has ridiculous temper tantrums like a 5-yr-old in a man’s body, still lacks much in the way of empathy. He’s seeing a new therapist, trained under Minwalla, who’s making him do exercises that are supposed to help him understand the damage he’s done to me (How pathetic is THAT–to need worksheets…). We’ll see if that’s possible. I have some REALLY BAD days, but mostly I rock along, working half days at my regular job, trying to build a practice in the afternoons, taking care of my 12-yr-old, learning EMDR so I can help women like us…
My STBX has gotten worse since he doesn’t have to sneak around. Since we are divorcing, he still has the thrill of outsmarting me.
He is being forced out of one of the surgery centers we partly own for not doing enough surgery, so I think his lifestyle is finally catching up to him at work.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.