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I am reading the book “The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life” that ella suggested earlier. I also rented the 1944 movie.
There is so much in that book that I see in myself its scary. And I am only 1/2 through it. I am so fucking pissed at myself for always giving in an letting that asshole win. He is a stubborn jerk who thinks he needs to be the center of everyones attention and when he does not get his way he throws tantrums like a 2 year old. And what did I do all these years? I always tried to keep him on an even keel. I always tried to make him look like the perfect husband. I always tried to keep peace and harmony in our lives. And what did he do to thank me??? fuck other women. And try to blame me!
I can’t even keep going, I am so angry at everything that has been happening here this week. I will post later.
I just wanted to say that this book is a really good read for me. A lot of things make more sense now. I’m just getting to the part of how to “protect yourself from a gas lighter” ~ kick his fucking ass out! (my best guess)
I loaded it on my kindle but am going to order it in hard copy so I can mark it up.
HI,
Sounds like a worthwhile read and I have seen the movie. Also sounds like u did alot of eggshell walking over the years and that is a common protective behavior in partners of narcs? I don’t blame you for being angry but I know you did the best you could with what you had to work with at the time. Post away as you feel like it! I think I will try to find that book BUT I am past learning about how mine manipulated me….I know how he did it and f–king other women is just one part of the game. Now he can f–k who he likes…BUT he cannot f–k me? Not my body, not my head, not my heart and not my soul. And the best part about it is I FINALLY figured out that without me as part of the mix……the rest has lost most of its allure? I don’t know what is wrong with him…I just know that without me to screw over he is no longer very interested in screwing anyone? NOT because he is in recovery,not because I try to get him in recovery,not because he can dupe me…but probably because he stuck a knife in me over and over and then one day I could no longer feel it going in. Now he knows I just don’t care who he screws.For some reason, all the fun has gone out of it for him. I will leave u to work out what that means 🙂 Try not to beat yourself up over how hard you tried. It only proves you are a person of substance and of course u would probably not have done that if he had revealed himself? HUGS Karen
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