The straw that broke the camel’s back

Hello sisters

I’ve had a stressful week. Had to go to youngest son’s parents evening at school last Thursday, which means spending time with SA ex. On the bright side, my son got very good reports, except in Geography, where he is not on target for his grades. The Geography teacher asked that he revise over the weekend for the end of year test this week (Tuesday). SA sat there like the good father agreeing with me that yes he would make sure my son revised (he had the boys this weekend). My son phoned me on Saturday evening and I asked how his revising was going. He said he hadn’t done any because dad had taken them out for the day and they hadn’t got back until 8.30pm. This annoyed me, both because he hadn’t got a chance to revise, but also because SA is pleading poverty, saying he’s had to take a lower paid job and will be paying me less maintenance, but drove a considerable distance (petrol is SOOOOO expensive) had 2 games of lazer quest for 4, lunch out, fish pedicures for 4 and dinner out! My son did some revision on Sunday morning, but was playing out all day from before lunch time, so not too much! Also, he didn’t have any lunch. SA let him stay playing out and because he didn’t come home for lunch he just left him. This wouldn’t be so bad if he’d given him dinner (which he usually does) but when I checked if the boys would have eaten, my son said ‘Dad says he hasn’t sorted anything, so we can have tea with you’. I think his girlfriend must have been busy – he seems to normally get her to cook a Sunday Lunch when he has the boys.

When I picked my sons up on Sunday, they told me that their Dad has booked a holiday for them (where is this money coming from?) Not only this, but he’s told them they have a certain amount of money each day to spend on trips to theme parks etc and anything that doesn’t get spent is theirs at the end of the week! I was furious. This just smacks of buying them. I took the boys away a couple of weeks ago and they had treats but I didn’t feel the need to tell them how much I was giving them or spending on them.

Anyway, as a result of the lack of studying I said to my son that he would have to do some more revision on Monday evening. He happily agreed to this on Sunday. However on Monday it was a different story!

They arrived home from school and my son immediately said he wanted to play out. I reminded him about the revision and got a teenage strop! I was unpacking shopping and asked if one of the boys would feed the cat, who was miaowing frantically. Needless to say, an argument broke out about who should do it, which ended in no one doing it – except me!

I just lost it. I got the boys together and said ‘That’s it. I’ve had enough. If it’s a popularity contest – I’ve lost. I AM going to make you do your school work because I want you to do well in life. I AM going to ask you to do little jobs to help me because I want you to learn to be responsible, helpful adults. It may make me the unpopular one, but I want you to be people who help others, whether that be a partner, me, friends, whoever.’ They both apologised for not helping and I felt bad afterwards.

Then this morning I clipped a kerb on the way to work and my tyre blew. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back and I just cried. The breakdown service wouldn’t come out unless I paid £50 because I’ve changed my car (after the accident I had) and hadn’t altered the registration details on my policy. I can change a wheel but was at the side of a busy road in my office wear and just felt overwhelmed. My lovely man doesn’t live near me so was unable to help – other than with words of comfort. Luckily, the caretaker at the school I work at came to the rescue and helped me change the tyre. But I just felt so alone and like everything seems to go wrong for me!

Sorry for the mega long moan, but just need to get it out of my system. I’m also on the last module of the first year of my degree course and am exhausted from trying to fit assignments in along with work and kids.

Love you all

Bb
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