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So I am going to go on that lunch meeting tomorrow prepared to talk about our product line and my department , but I also want to be little bit more interesting, maybe a little flirty
I thought I would want to get to know him at a more personal level, get to know his interests, his hobbies etc
But I want to keep it more challenging for him, and talk about business ,,and not appear like I am out there ready to date him yet
So my wise sisters any thoughts, ideas on all of this
Maybe he will flirt with you and then you can decide what to do next?
Just don’t talk about your H. That is a date killer. You can ruin him later, IF you get more involved. ๐ Be warm but let him make the first move….harmony,
my advice would be to be as centered as possible. ground yourself before the lunch. make sure you get enough sleep tonight. eat a good breakfast. wear comfortable (and sexy) clothing. sounds silly i know, but making sure all your needs are met can really go a long way as far as confidence goes.
stay professional, but be your charming self. that way, if it turns out it doesn’t feel like it should be a ‘date’ (on either side) it will still feel comfortable for you.
If you are not yet divorced and you are going out to lunch with someone from your company that your husband also knows, you may be setting yourself up for something that can be used against you in court. Your husband is good at getting you to react so that you look like the bad one. I smell a big rat here.
Just my own opinion, but I think it’s a risky move to date anyone from work. Not just for you, but in any situation. If you date the CEO and it doesn’t work out, he may retaliate in a way the harms your career, although he’d need to be sly about it or you could sue him.
I’d look at this business lunch as a good sign to further your career and leave flirting out of it. Just mho. xo AliDeborah and Ali your points are well taken, I do need to be very careful with how I am moving with this, I will make it where we would talk about business but also get to know him a little bit better
on June/1 I had a big birthday party for my son who turned 4 I invited many people from work including the CEO who came with his small children (at that time he did not know that I am going through divorce nor any of the people from work ) and many other people from the company did come to,
I had invited my stbx weeks before and he said he will come, but he text me the morning of my son birthday and said he is not coming, which was really very disappointing to my children as they had expected dad to be there, but that also put me in an awkward position as nobody at the company knew at that time that we were going through divorce except for one person who is the COO who I work very closely with and I consider him my advisor, I had shared with him that I am divorcing because my stbx had cheated but did not share any further details, he knew I was hurting and experiencing anger with the whole thing,
so one day after a meeting he (the COO) came to my office and he asked me how am I doing, and I said still experiencing pain and hurt especially that I had found out that my stbxh is already talking to that woman he found on dating website about getting married in December as soon as our divorce is final,
The COO advice me then that I should drink some wine and go out and date ๏ and put my stbxh in a bucket and not respond to his aggravation any more and move on with my life
I said I donโt know about drinking wine but maybe dating do you know anyone, he said of the CEO had divorced do you like him, I said I donโt know him really that well but I donโt mind getting to know him
he called him that evening and told the CEO if he is looking to date that I am becoming free woman which the CEO did not know anything about and the COO told him that I am divorcing and that my stbx had already moved on and found someone else and he is planning to get married in December
so that evening the CEO text me and said that he had taken his kids to some show and it was fun, I answered that is great and that I would love to take my kids to that show, he said well maybe I will let you know next time
So the next day I got an email from his secretary asking to set up a meeting to discuss our products, etc
And that is how the whole thing startedUncomfortable. Everyone seems to be really fast on the draw, here. But, lunch is just lunch, and you can play it that way for sure. Nothing wrong with being a desirable woman who is recognized as such. But, there are lots of things to watch out for. Maybe let the CEO’s interest be your bridge to being a confident outgoing woman in the dating world again, and also an incentive and encouragement for other men who are NOT employed at your company? Nobody says you have to have a RELATIONSHIP with your first date as a free woman.
thank you Lynn, your words had encouraged me as I already was thinking maybe I should cancel
this whole thing is so god damn confusing,,
Like I said my stbxh had found a woman on a dating website and met her in april and now they are talking about getting married in dec ( our divorce has not been finalized yet)
but I do want to take all of your advices and play it safe.
This is not meant to diminish your outrage and hurt in any way at all, but, I pity that woman. I was in her shoes, and I didn’t even know it. My SJ was dating me and in marriage counseling with his wife at the same time. These men need to be stamped “REJECT” across the forehead for all to see. What I get out of my SJ’s actions and your STBX’s actions are that they are terrified to be alone. One day left face to face with who they are, without the pretty “family man” front is a nightmare they will not risk.
She’s just a replacement wife, and damn it, I know how that feels when you find out. It’s like you were a replacement appliance or something. That’s exactly how it feels.
I guess what I’m saying is don’t feel like you are passed over for someone else. Women are only props. There has only ever been one love in his life, HIMSELF.
Yes Harmony. He has found another victim quickly. This will not end well for her, whoever she is.
Don’t read too much into your date. Just relax and have fun. Its not like you are going to marry the guy.
Harmony, I agree with Karen.At first I was uncomfortable with this thread because it seemed risky to eye the CEO of company where both you and STBX work as anything personal. However, with that background you provided I do understand much better now. Thank you. My rule on a situation like that is to go with the assumption of work, work, work and do not read into it or assume otherwise until it so so blatantly overt (CEO calling himself v secretary and invites you to dinner not lunch and to discuss your interests and not company products. In fact he would probably even need to say “no work talk allowed”) of course, I’m all for wearing something that makes you feel great inside and out so you can be your most confident self!
You have said before he seems to get everyone in his corner and makes you look like the bad guy.
Like Deborah, I too smell a rat. Be very careful.
Keep it business as usual until he makes good on anything he should promise regarding your work.
It could be a recorded set up. If he asks about hubby and you say you are ‘separated but that’s neither here nor there’ and he seems to push talking about your H, I would run.
I don’t trust sa’s, their coworkers or their friends.
Don’t get caught up in a trap.
Plan a poised exit strategy, if you go. Have a friend text you something that you can excuse yourself to answer, that way you can decide if you want to continue the lunch or not. Don’t make it internal (at work) though, because that could leak back and bite you.
Excellent strategy Lynn…..And mention when you sit down that you may need to leave early if so and so calls…..to make it seem legit.
Always have an out.
Or a target with a face on it will work too….
Check out just for fun….I just posted a pic of my training we had last week where I am in my mask…
I have a pic with me and Det Leavelle from last month. He was the one who was handcuffed to Lee Harvey Oswald when he was shot by Jack Ruby. My most prized pic of my career (a little blurry, a man took it…what can I say). You can see my tazer in that pic Liza….they are yellow.
I just came back from my lunch meeting with the CEO, I made it goes in the direction of discussing work,
it was fun, and I imagined you all with me with your advices ringing in my ears ๐I will give you more details later I have to go to get the kids and drive them to their dad, it is his evening tonight
So I text him yesterday and said that I am looking forward to meeting him but I would like to be prepared so I was asking what does he like me to focus on,
He text me back saying that he is easy going and that I donโt need to prepare anything, then he asked me if I am working a lot, I said no my schedule is better now, and then started to talk about traveling and if I like traveling, and where have I been, I said I do like traveling and I have been to most of the major cities in the country, so I asked him how about you he said, I traveled all over the world,,,etc , he said that we have then something in common to talk about,
I said great then maybe I should make my presentation about traveling and exploring, he laughed ๐“it was fun” when was the last time you said that Harmony? Fun is good. Light is good. Sane is good. You have been living such a HEAVY life for so long. Time to lighten up, relax and enjoy. I don’t care if he is a CEO. He is only a man and he seems to like you. Why shouldn’t you enjoy yourself? You are smart girl, you know you work with him and you know how to handle that……. I am delighted to hear it was a nice lunch. x
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