I live with triggers everyday. My SA was a closet homosexual (40 years) active all throughout my entire marriage (I did not know this). When he brushed his teeth, he would brush for a long time and offten there was toothpaste dripping from his mouth. He had told me that he likes the taste and texture of cum, and I think of all the times after he had been out doing that, that he would come home and kiss me. That in itself makes my stomach turn.
It is a struggle every day for me to brush my teeth, the motion of brushing makes me gag. I cannot have a toothpaste that produces foam because then my whole body convulses. I have to force myself to do a normal thing. I have gone days without brushing and just use mouthwash, it doesn’t seem to get any better. Any motion that resembles masterbation, pumping or foam overflow turns my stomach.
Will this ever end?
This is just one of the triggers that I face everyday.