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I live with triggers everyday. My SA was a closet homosexual (40 years) active all throughout my entire marriage (I did not know this). When he brushed his teeth, he would brush for a long time and offten there was toothpaste dripping from his mouth. He had told me that he likes the taste and texture of cum, and I think of all the times after he had been out doing that, that he would come home and kiss me. That in itself makes my stomach turn.
It is a struggle every day for me to brush my teeth, the motion of brushing makes me gag. I cannot have a toothpaste that produces foam because then my whole body convulses. I have to force myself to do a normal thing. I have gone days without brushing and just use mouthwash, it doesn’t seem to get any better. Any motion that resembles masterbation, pumping or foam overflow turns my stomach.
Will this ever end?
This is just one of the triggers that I face everyday.
Thank You, Jeannette, for having the courage to share this hard part of your life. These are things we could never imagine.
I will be thinking of you, today, and carrying your struggle with me. I believe that one day it will end. YOu will remember what used to happen but it won’t happen anymore. But you can only take this long healing journey one step at a time.
Again, thank you for honesty in sharing with us. We are supporting you.
love and light,
D.So sorry for the pain and triggers your ex left you with. It’s beyond horrible and so unfair. Thinking of you, love, Nap
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