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I just read today’s mail. In it was an envelope for my SA from the County Probation Department. I opened it because I thought if it’s important, I better let him know about it.
It’s important, alright. It’s a DENIAL NOTIFICATION. It says “Your request for participation in the Adult Electronic Monitoring Program has been DENIED based upon the following reasons:” Then there are several (18 actually) reasons why it could be denied but the one checked off says “Nature of the offense(s).”
It goes on to say “You may appeal this decision by submitting a written statement to the Probation Department Division Manager within ten (10) days of receiving this denial. Include your full name, date of birth, and the reasons why you should be reconsidered for the program. You will receive a written response from the Probation Department Division Manager within ten (10) business days of receipt of your written statement for reconsideration.”
HOLY SHIT!!!!!
Could this mean that he is going to jail?
He’s supposed to begin serving his sentence on Feb. 3rd. Whoa. I wasn’t expecting this, AT ALL.
My heart is just racing. This is shocking. I don’t know if he’s even aware of it. I don’t know if they called him first and this letter is just written confirmation, or what.
I’m gonna scan it and attach it to an email to him.
Wow . . . don’t know what to think. I was just getting used to how nice and quiet things were around here.
Yes, I think that is exactly what that means! I’m sure he will appeal but I doubt the appeal will work. Things should be REALLY quiet while he’s in jail!! 🙂 Let us know what his reaction is.
Hugs,
DaisyWell, if he’s in jail, it will be even quieter still. But you may have an RV parked on your land.
It’s another layer of “reality check” as to the nature of his criminal offence and how serious i was actually assessed to be. You’ve been doing well, Claire and you will be even better once this is fully grasped by everyone. Now you dont have to convince anyone of anything-family, friends, etc. It is what it is.
Do some soothing exercises because this has stirred everything up again. Hot bath. shot of whiskey. Herb tea. candle. soothing music. You are going to make it.
hugs,
Diane.What do I say in the email?
I guess I should say “This came in the mail today. I figured you better address it immediately.”
????
Wow, Claire. He’s done some bad stuff, and I have to say that I am glad to hear that people who indulge in kiddy porn don’t get off with just an ankle monitor. But I also want to make sure you are okay, too. If I were you, my mind would be racing about how this might affect me. Will you be okay? Do you need anything?
Just send it. He’ll figure it out. I do think this means jail. Good. He belongs there. I only ish they would send my fil too. They could be roomies. LOL You are a rock Claire. It is gonna be OK. At least for you it is. For him who fucking cares?
Hugs
MoniqueWow Claire. All I can think is what Diane said about a reality check. Finally, he has to pay for what he did. I wish they would take my POS loser to jail too for what he did to elderly patients. I have always felt like they get away with way too much. Also what Teri said…are you ok?
I agree with March.
Will you and he be charged $$$$ for the cost of him being in jail?
I am concerned you could get caught off guard.
With you
He text me and said that he received a phone call so he already knew about it.
He said the guy he talked to said that he can not approve certain crimes and those have to go to his supervisor.
So, SA is working on writing his letter to appeal the decision.
You all have the same questions I do and I don’t have any answers. No one tells you anything. This letter caught me off guard, I didn’t think he could be denied as long as he qualified to pay the fees. To be ankle monitored, it costs $30 for the application and $15/day.
If he goes to jail, he’ll likely only serve 2 months of the 9 month sentence. He will be in solitary because of his crime and because he is a retired officer of the law. He will get out early for good behavior and because California prisons are overcrowded.
Just when I thought things were settling down for me. I was so happy. Getting the house organized, cleaning, me and the animals were on a new schedule and we’re all doing really well without him.
Ugh!!!!!!!!
OMG I just don’t know, but is there any way you can bifurcate your financials from his? Is this a part of wringing you dry? I just hope you can just get away from that stuff. Desiree says don’t get caught off guard? So right on. Don’t respond to his S*H*I*T* but get legal counsel to protect your assets if at all possible. From past and ongoing. DOWN LOW is my strategy.
I am a big metaphor girl. I remember the quote from Sun Tzu, The Art of War, “Always take the high road, it’s easier to shoot down your enemies from from there.”
BE STRONG. I know I am shouting but I want you and your girls to be safe. Sistas are wise.
I hope not, Bev. If he goes to jail, the RV will probably have to be parked here on my property, but I will insist that he resume living in the trailer park when he gets out of jail.
This is crazy. Seriously, what else can happen?
I don’t know and I’m afraid to ask….
On the up side, if he goes to jail for 2 months then good riddance. You can have 2 months to get the RV moved by his release date 🙂
As I said in the beginning, the ones I’ve seen or dealt with didn’t get probation or ankle monitors. They served actual time.
He definitely will get a reality check in jail.
Why the heck didn’t they just send him to jail right after sentencing. Why all this long drawn out shit of applying for a monitor when they know he won’t qualify for one. Have they no mercy for the emotional rollercoaster ride this puts the spouses under?
Fucking judicial system.
I know Claire I dont get it either. I guess unfortunately it’s a giant baracracy (sp?) and so therefore very inefficient. So sorry this stirred up stuff for you sister. You don’t deserve any of this, at all.
Love, NapThanks for letting me rant. You sisters have been so supportive of me for well over 3 years.
I find it so damn hard to believe how slow this process has been and the emotional toll it’s taken on me. It would have been so much worse had I not had the support and the bold truth of each and every one of you sisters.
It’s not over, yet and it may be another while before it is, but I know as long as I have you to lean on that I will make it through with grace and strength.
Much love, Claire
Hang in there, Claire. I hate that this keeps getting dragged out. I think that justice being blind thing can have a few interpretations- like it being blind to what family and victims go through while so many protections are put in place for the accused.
Keep venting all you want. You have every right to.
Claire, I can certainly understand how all of this affects you emotionally and psychologically and generally just messes with your head, and I’m sorry for that. Does his going to jail affect you in other ways, too, that we don’t know about? Will your monthly income decrease or disappear while he is in there? Are you going to be financially okay? Apart from the whole messing with your head, Claire, do you have other concerns ? We can help:)
Courtney,
His going to jail does not affect me financially. His pension check is automatically direct deposited into our checking account. I pay all the household bills from that account. That will not change, unless and until we decide to divorce.
My immediate concerns are just for my mental health and welfare. He’s only been gone since Dec. 26th and in that short time I had made great strides. I felt my old self coming back, I was happy, getting things done that I haven’t been able to do when he was here and tension was so high. I felt like I was headed down the right path, that I was going to be okay, and then another bomb drops. But that is the nature of this life when there is a sex addict with multiple personality disorders, who has been arrested and convicted for child porn, who cares nothing for what he’s done to the people who loved him, is all about. Never a fucking dull moment. Never let your guard down.
And, by the way, divorce is coming, he just doesn’t know about it yet. It has to stay that way until I make sure I have everything I need to carry on.
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