Update on Silver Lining’s divorce…..

Hi Sista’s!!!

I have been wanting to get an updated post for some time now, but no computer (actually no internet service) at home at this time. So, mostly I am on my Iphone and it just gets to be too much to try to put it all out there!

As most of you know, I am in the process of a divorce. I served my SA in May of this year. Since then, he has refinanced the mortgage loan in his name only, as he is keeping the house and I will be temporarily moving to my Dad’s for some down time and recuperation. I’m not sure when I am moving yet and we haven’t even begun to negotiate our settlement and figure out who is taking/keeping WHAT. I am dreading that whole ordeal, but obviously it needs to be done and probably the sooner the better. Living with an active SA while you are married is a horrible thing. Living with an active SA when you are getting divorced is nothing short of horrendus. He is nothing but an asshole. It’s not like I didn’t already KNOW this, but his true colors are really coming out every which way I look.

So… here is his latest stunt:

When he refinanced, he could only borrow 85% of the appraisal value and also, he had about 6 grand tied up in closing costs. So, once the equity check came in, I was suppose to immediately take $35,000.00 and put it in my own account because that is how much he already had on his side due to the refinance. The rest was a lump sum that was to be given to one of our lawyers to hold until the negotiations were over and then to be distributed appropriately. He told me that we should just have a family member hold on to it (his Dad or mine) so that we would not continue to incur extra costs with our attorneys. I still felt more comfortable getting a money order made up for the entire lump sum (not including my 35K), and let my lawyer deal with it. The guy told us that it would take about a week to get our check. A little over a week went by and I asked SA if he had heard anything about the check lately. He said yes, it came in the mail and he deposited it in our account and I would have access to it on Monday. So…. on Sunday night, I told him that I was going to bank on Monday to open my own account, deposit the 35K, and money order the rest for attorney. He never said ONE WORD. Next day at bank, I find out that greedy, conniving, bastard wrote a check with that extra money and sent it to pay a credit card that was in HIS NAME ONLY, that I never even knew about prior to D day and he has YET to tell me what was even ON that damn thing.

When this divorce is over, he still has his 90K+ job and OUR house….. I have nothing. (ok, a waitressing job with no benefits) So in other words, every dime to my name is going to make a difference to help me start my new life. That bastard owes me that much. He won’t miss a beat AND he will just move the next sucker in before the ink is even dry to help him start paying his bills once I am gone. I CAN NOT STAND THAT LYING, PIECE OF SHIT, MOTHER FUCKER. (Thank you Lexie for all I have learned!)
But really, everything I own, am worth, have to get started, etc. depends on the outcome of this divorce. He has already taken SO MUCH from me. When that man at the bank told me the money was gone and that a check had been written to the credit card company AND cleared already… I sat at his desk and cried. I could NOT believe it. I continue to be amazed at how fucking low this dude will actually stoop and I have a feeling it aint over yet. I didn’t just cry for the money (although OUCH, I need that money) but mostly for how he continues to screw me over at every pass. He planned it ALL out and knew exactly what he was doing. EXACTLY. He never said a peep when the check came in nor that he took to bank or ANYTHING when I said I was going to bank the next day. He KNEW what was going to happen at the bank. I couldn’t even concentrate on all the BS the banker was trying to explain about my new bank account, because I just sat there in catatonia (thanks again, Lex) and sniffled. I told him I would have to come back later to get a real banking lesson – because as of that moment – I was DONE. I didn’t hear a word he said.
Believe me, there was no miscommunication either. We had went over the plan MANY times. But he just couldn’t stand it.
My attorney is PISSED and I’m sure we will find ways to make it up with other stuff – but that is not the point.

So… I am meeting with my attorney this coming Friday with a few differenct scenario proposals (dream lists) and we are going to put the best one together. Then, she write a letter to my SA and his attorney and tell them that she has advised me that litigation will get very expensive and it would be in both of our interests to settle this thing out of court. She will go on to say that if it comes down to litagation, we will need detailed records to ALL CREDIT cards (paid the fuck off or NOT) and also, that we would have to send a supeona to his employer to obtain his work email records, cell phone records, and internet browsing records in order to put together something for the judge to consider. And THAT, ladies is when my SA will shit his pants at the thought of his employer even SKIMMING over his records in any way, shape, or form. With all my double secret investigating from January through May, I witnessed the fact that he has sat at his desk at his GOOD job and did nothing but work the single sites, his private email accounts, send and receive pics – UNBELIEVABLE pics, etc. for at least 6 to 8 hours A DAY, EVERY DAY……. Probably for YEARS……….

So…… after my attorney gives her little speech, she will slide our nice, neat, little proposal under their nose and ask him to sign on the dotted line. And for the love of God, I CANT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!