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Please welcome our newest Sister, Dazed. She did not fill out her profile, but I’m sure if we welcome her she will be able to share her story with us.
Welcome dazed. Come on in, read the topics and comments, jump right in on a chat session, add comments to any topic you like or start your own.
You are safe here and we welcome you with open arms.
Thank you Joann, for this opportunity to find help and support.
I am not sure where to begin…
Maybe first a little about me, I am a stay at home mom of 2 boys (16 & 18) both boys were adopted. I been married for 20years anniversary 10/12/11. I have had a very rough last three years, lost my dad unexpected in 11/2008, had to put my oldest son in a residential treatment facility 1/2009 (behavioral issues), my sister in-law (husbands oldest sister) passed away at 52yo unexpected in 8/2009, my father in-law was dx with kidney cancer (kidney removed) in 9/2010, had to put my youngest son also in residential treatment facility 3/2011 (drugs and alcohol), and found out my husband had an affair in 8/2011 and found that he is admitting that he is a sex addict in 10/2011.
We are separated, have not filed for divorce for financial reasons. My emotions are all over the place. I am currently seeing a therapist who referred me to this website.
I feel so ashamed, embarrassed, angry, hurt, betrayed and all the other emotions I cant think of right now. Where do I go from here?
Thanks, dazed-and-confused
awww dac……you have been through it all! 🙁 You must be a very strong person. I am so sorry for all of your troubles. The last thing you will ever have to worry about here is being ashamed or embarrassed. No one will judge you here as we are all going through this awfulness. I have been married 29 yrs. 5 kids, great life, caught h having an affair and then found out he has been doing it our whole marriage.
You can go under “stories” to catch up on everyones.
And ~ I had to check my son in also when he was 17. He is 25 now and never ever in my wildest dreams could I have imagined he would be where he is today. Hope and prayers
HeidiDear Dazed, I’m pretty new to this site, but three years into knowing my husband is an SA. My oldest daughter also did a stint in the local mental health facility. Seems to be a pattern here? Now, I’m finishing up a Masters in clinical counseling and interning at one of those establishments. It feels like an amends of sorts. Anyway, sorry you had to seek out such a support network. Sorry you’re in this sorry boat with us. You have indeed found women who know how you feel and what you’re going through, though, small comfort.
Dear Dazed,
“Where do I go from here?”….well…you go away from your SA’s issues and towards your own? What I mean is you put all your energy and effort into YOU for now.You cannot do much about him so why waste the effort? You do NOT have to make any big decisions until you are ready. You can take some time and educate yourself fully about what you are dealing with. And you can come and visit us and tell us anything and say anything you are feeling and we will try to help you process your feelings. We all understand the terrible pain and the sensation that your life has been blown apart. Welcome! This is a good place to go from there. Karen xx
Welcome Dazed,
So sorry to learn of all the suffering you have and are going through. My heart aches for everything that has gone on in your life it’s so much and I hope you have support. We welcome you and will be by your side so you won’t feel so alone.
Love, NapHi Dazed&C,
well here we all are. I hope you will find some ideas and experiences to help you understand your life and your options. I’m so sorry about the struggles you have faced. May you have the strength you need for each day.
lots of light,
Diane.Hi Dazed and Confused,
Welcome to this sight, ( and bravo to your therapist for referring you!) I too, have two children about the same ages as yours (almost 15 and 18). I also celebrated my 20th anniversary recently. I have known about my husband’s sex addiction for 2 years. (You can read my story as well as many others in the “stories” group. It’s a good place to start, to see that you are not alone here.) I too remember being so embarrassed and ashamed, and how freeing it was to communicate with so many ladies here who have been through the same thing. You have really found a safe place here. The first important thing is just to take time to process your emotions. Don’t feel like you have to make any immediate decisions. Just knowing that for myself has been extremely calming.
Use this site to help learn and get support. Feel free to post and ask as many questions as you can. The ladies here are fantastic!Love and hugs, Julie
Wow thank you all for the kind and encouraging words. As I am reading some of the responses in the forum I feel a calm and not the anxiousness I have been feeling. I am taking i hours at a time, with some good hours and some not so good. I hope to learn more as I am try to find my way around this website.
My Dear, no wonder you are dazed and confused. What an awful time you’ve had. I like that your therapist recommended this site, also. It’s another good step in the right direction for healing and understanding.
Love, ms-lindyWelcome D and C,
Well… my son is 16 and also in a residential treatment facility, for an autistic spectrum disorder and mild (a relative term) conduct disorder. You don’t suppose its the same one, do you? But YES, I’m not sure what the percentage is, but it appears that the odds of us having A-typical, neurologically different, is VERY high.
I really should write out my complete story, one day… I’ve told it so many times, in bits and pieces… and as a lot of women here… its an ongoing saga… with more twists and turns than a John Grisham novel… (little laugh) 🙁
But, honey… we are all dazed and confused… because how else can we be when we find out are life partner, love of our life, father of our children (I’ve been with mine for 25 years) has been leading a double life?
But, again a warm welcome.
xo ~ Lexie
Hi Dazed and Confused! Welcome to S.O.S 🙂 I hate to hear about all of the pain that you have experienced in addition to the hurt from your SA. Healing is so hard, but you will get a boost here. We are all struggling from the damage of sex addiction and we are here for you.
Speak your mind freely girl!
~ Shaken Not Broken
Hi D&C (sounds like a procedure??) 🙂
Welcome to the Love Train!! So very sorry to meet you here, but nice to meet you just the same! You truly have been through the ringer and just the fact that you have survived and continue to look for avenues of help is a big step in the right direction!! I LOVE your therapist already!!! Hopefully a good one who is really able to help you think clearly and work through your problems! I really like my therapist and she knows how much this site means to me and I tell her EVERY session – if any of her other patients have similiar issues – please send them here! This website is the best thing that has EVER happened to me and I am not joking!
Hang in there, Sweetie! We are really here for you!
hi welcome i love your sign in name. many of us could use it. you are in the best place with some of the best women. i can promise you as time goes on you will be less and less confused. keep posting and reading, and dont hold back.i have found the more we do the faster we find ourselves again,begin to heal.
much lovekatt
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