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The biggest issue for me is that, while they might be “honest” and confessing their ‘slips’ in group, they aren’t telling their wives about them.
I just don`t see how they amount to all that much in the scheme of things. If they confess to a “group” that they F’d up or they confess to no one..they still F’d up. I view the whole silly mess as a placebo type effect. If they go and think it helps then fine. If they go and use it as a front then they are still cheating any way. The meetings really don`t matter. IMO….
I would never think attending meetings meant any type of recovery or faithfulness. I would never think not going to the meetings meant someone was “slipping”. Sort of a zero sum situation…
In all honesty, I don`t really care so I guess I shouldn`t be commenting 🙂
Thank you JoAnn for your detailed post. I will read this to my husband and hope he decides against the meetings. I feel like Victoria, sobriety over a period of time is paramount to a true recovery. What good are these mtgs, if they don’t insist on sobriety. March, you hit the nail on the head, who cares if they are honest to this group, if they are dishonest with the betrayed party. Bev, I agree with your viewpoint of silliness.
I think they can work the individual therapy angle and figure out what is lacking in them as a person/human being. I have never believed that banging skanks is an addiction so IMO the meetings are superfluous. I have always thought that there is an underlying problem that allows them to think this behavior is “ok”. I think the meetings actually may give them more of an excuse to call their behavior “normal”.
That being said, DA goes and he is acting human so….there that is.
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