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Hum, let’s see… before my SA discovery, I would have said it’s just feeling like someone would never do anything to hurt you, has all of your best interests at heart, has nothing to hide and would never engage in any type of behaviour that could be damaging to your relationship.
Now, post SA discovery, I guess my definition is the same but it sounds like a unrealistic dream to ever think I could ever again feel this way about an intimate relationship 🙁
I would have said what Mtnbikechick said before and I guess I would say it now. In a normal relationship, everything about your partner should be a priority or why be with them?? I’m not talking about every little difference, because all couples have their little squabbles and power plays. BUT to deliberately engage in behaviour and make decisions that you KNOW in advance will decimate your spouse and do it anyway…that is NOT trust and that does not belong in a committed relationship…or any relationship where you claim to care for another person. Love is a verb. So is trust.
*loving, caring, and respectful at all times
*contributes to the relationship doesn’t contaminate it in any way
*words and behaviors match
*someone you can always count on an has your back, always.
Yes, that’s right.
Think I have that now with John. And, I have my escape hatch in sight at all times. That basically means knowing I can be financially independent.
Cuz, if it changes, and he decides to act entitled in anyway, I am gone. Poof.
My soon to be therapist son said he and everyone at our family Christmas week together in Yosemite all liked John a lot. I did not solicit this and I have not cared to try to have them like him. I just want reality to speak for itself.
We are in Oregon for the next month, then off to Hawaii for some sun and warmth.
Nice post, Nap.
I wish I could go with you Desiree….I’d be the third wheel plus I’d have to go by a frieghter boat. :/
I think Sandra Bullock said something about knowing that the person always has your back. That was before the shit hit the fan…
Good point Teri…look at what Sandra B had to deal with. She idolized that creep and he picked trash tattoo bimbos over her. That’s a perfect example of why it’s them and not us. (Drilling that into my own head…)
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