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“Your life. That’s all you are responsible for. Your integrity, your love, your hope. You can’t be responsible for an adult male and his life and actions and consequences.”
Thought I was done with a-ha moments at this stage in the game. Damn, was I wrong.
Ditto Liza re Jos’ post. Im so greateful that everyone has taken the time and effort to respond to me, and you can never have to many responses,…I never tire of recieving feedback and opinions.
Oh STL, to be 37 again! I’ve got 20 years on you, and from my vantage point, you are still wonderfully young with so much potential for a happier life ahead of you. What you’re facing is so overwhelming, I know, and I remember when I was new on this site that Diane said, ‘Baby steps.’ You don’t have to decide everything at once. I still do baby steps after 20 months since discovery of his crap. Take time to breathe, and to think about what *you* want for yourself and your child. And remember that we all understand what you are going through and are here for you.
Jos, that was an awesome post. xoxoWhat jos said. STL, I’m 4 months out of the relationship. I realize that when I get sad or angry it’s because I grieve that my relationship was not what I thought and would never be, even he he were sober, because we’d have this crap there. I’m so sorry you are at this point.ni can tell you that I am feeling better every day about my decision. Feeling grateful and thankful to be out. If my SA ever gave me a disease I would jeopardize raising my own son into a better man. That was just too much to risk.
And there’s an aha moment for me
If my SA ever gave me a disease I would jeopardize raising my own son into a better man. That was just too much to risk.
Brutal but after the chlamydia I had, God spare me anything more!
Not long after I joined, I was reading some old posts and JoAnn posted that one of the sisters’ tested positive for HIV. That is so sad & tragic but it was the kick in the pants that I needed to get the full STD tests. Up until then, I had been in denial about the impact his penis activities may have on my health. I implore any sister who has not done this to please do so immediately.
My H got tested too but you know what? His tests are only as a good as the day he took them. How will I ever know he didn’t go out right after and fuck a prostitute unprotected? If I decide not to divorce, and if and when we ever have sex again, he will always have to wear a condom, even when we are 80 years old. My H hates condoms. Maybe I should tell him that now – he’ll file for divorce faster than I can say the word! 😉
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