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So, for those of you that know my story, I had to have my SA stay in the house with me because I have a toddler and had knee surgery a few weeks ago. As suspected, my SA has treated me like shit and done practically nothing for me or my daughter during this time, just as he has done for years. During the course of recovery, I started receiving letters from the co-op board showing we may be evicted due to noise complaints against my child {????} and also the house has literally been falling apart around me and I found out why {SA waived all rights to inspection, etc, and instead used the money on prostitutes and porn}. He told me he was going to “take care of all the damage he caused”. He claimed he would get a lawyer about the harassment charges from the co-op board and my stalking neighbor, said he would find out how to repair things in our house that are falling part, etc etc.
Right.
Yesterday my daughter was playing with his cell phone when all of a sudden I heard moaning, etc, and she walked over to me saying “mama waa”? basically asking me “mama what is this”
You guessed it.
Trannie porn playing on his cell. I grabbed the phone away from her and put her in the play pen, then went through his phone. The entire phone history shows that he has been downloading copious amounts of porn, at work, at home, on the train, etc, and has been perusing hookers again. Please note that my engagement and wedding ring have been missing for weeks, as well as my daughter’s birthday money. Now I know why. When I checked to see the last time he was looking at the hookers, it was when he told me he had to work late. When I checked the last time he was watching the porn, it showed 2 in the afternoon. Which is when he went to the “store” to get the baby “diapers” and then “forgot the diapers”. Seems he was masturbating to trannies in my CAR in a supermarket parking lot in broad daylight!
AND MY 2 YEAR OLD SAW THIS TRANNIE ANAL PORN!
Once again, I threw him out of the house. I cannot BEAR to look at his face for one more second. I have his phone and made him leave with NOTHING, although this morning I noticed the check book and one of the credit cards is now also gone.
My knee is still not healed, I had to cancel my PT for today and will have to cancel my follow-up with the surgeon tomorrow. I have no money, nobody to help me, nowhere to go. I refuse to let this piece of shit back in my house. But I’m so scared. What can I do with no money and broken knee with a 2 year old to take care of and no help whatsoever???Someone, please, anybody, HELP ME
Well I know that it can take a very very long time to evict someone. Especially when you have a kid. Squatters rights, and they do really have them. You may want to check the law in your area. If you do not leave willingly, it takes along to to get you out (i think 1-2 years). Don;t mean to play that card, but I think in your situation you may have to.
Do you have any friends or family that can take you in?? Anyone??
Are there any gvt housing options in your area? Gvt Insurance?
If the SA makes money, and claims you. It can be hard for you because it appears you have money in the household, but as you said he spends it all and it is HIS money. If he gets out of the household is it possible you could be eleigible for more things?
I went on maternity bedrest with my daughter. I was unable to work, and of course I was the breadwinner. I was able to get health insurance through the state and could have qualified for food stamps and other assitance, but we did not, we did not need it.
Are you eligible for disability in your state?
these are just some thoughts and ideas.
So sorry to hear your situation. Is there anything your family or friends could do to help? I know it can be difficult to ask people, but I’m sure they would want to help. Don’t know how things work in the US, but doesn’t your SA have to give you some money to help with your child and are there no benefits available to you? Wish there was more practical help I could offer to you. How dare he let your precious little one see such things? You were quite right to show him the door.
Lots of love and I really hope things get better for you.
Busybee
Gosh, I feel for you. Where are you located? Maybe someone on this site is close enough to you to lend a helping hand. I think you can put your City, State on your profile and only members can see it. Then maybe someone could send you a private message to help you. Sometimes there are women’s shelters nearby that have counselors on hand to talk to. Might want to look into that. They could at least tell you what your options are and where to go to apply for disability or perhaps even consult an attorney. I sure wish there was something else we could do for you. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers and that we love you.
You probably thought of this but you might want to call the bank and credit card company and report items as lost before he gets carried away. I am so sorry you are going through this, what a horrible reality this sa thing is. I am sending thoughts and prayers your way. You and your daughter deserve so much better. Be strong.
Hi Hurtheart,
You really need help and support. If you know a good lawyer and actually file an injuction goes into place which pretty much should freeze anything and maybe get your name off his card. Also, if he has income the court will make sure he has to pay you maintence and child support. His addiction is affecting your finanial security big time and it needs to stop and this may be one way to do that. The lawyer may let you use a credit card to pay their retainer. You need to take action to protect yourself if you are able to. If you cant due to trauma issues, do you have a close friend or relative who whould help you do these things?PS. If you need some immediate cash I would be happy to help you…you can private message me.
hurtheart my heart is with you please email me let me know how to contact you and what city,state you live. i would like to help you in some way. please know that there are many woman who are here for you. you are never alone. to get help fast call the women’s shelter as they deal with all trauma, they have many contacts for help, and also can provide counseling too
Hurtheart,
Please, if you can, let us know how you are. I am worried about you and I know we all are. Please let me know what I could do to help you…Im so sorry you are going through more trauma. You have had enough. Thinking of you, NAPHurtheart,
I would like to help as well. I have private messaged you my contact information. Please let me know and I will do what I can immediately! Hang in there!! XO!Hurtheart- My God, I can’t believe he is still putting you through more pain. Well, yes I can – he is very sick. I will also put my name, address, and E-mail (If I can) I would be happy to try and assist you in any way I can.
Does your’e husband have Medical Insurance? Probably not, but just a thought. Maybe you can have home health come in to assist you with caring for yourself. Be sure and stop payment on all the credit card accounts. Does he have anything at all in the checking account? If so, clean it out.
What is this about stalking? And, how can you be evicted because of excess noise by your’e child??
You can look on-line to find an attorney who can give you advice. Sometimes, an attorney will take a case for reduced rates if you are needing public assistance. In our state, you can have the police come over and kick his happy little ass out if he tries to come back. You can claim domestic abuse. Tell them he hit you, or whatever it takes to get that done.
I am so sorry for you, and we all will do anything we can to help you. My prayers are with you.Thanks so much guys. I am such a wreck; trying to hold it together but it’s been difficult as I have been in both physical and mental pain today at a level of 10 and my daughter has been a bear today {acting like a typical 2 year old}. I just want to roll myself into a ball and cry and scream at the wreckage my life has become and the doom I feel for my daughter’s future. I appreciate all the help you guys have offered, and when I get a moment I will come back on to read the pm’s.
<3Hurtheart,
When you come back tonight please tell us what you need. We can send you gift cards for food, groceries, make phone calls if you are too overwhelmed, ANYTHING, please let us help you. Also, let us know if you have any type of a support near by in a friend/ relative? Its hard to think when you are so traumatized. Here for you, NAP and sistersPS Katt had the great suggestion of the woman resource center. We have one in our community and I have had to call them in the past. They may be able to get you connected to some resources to help you in addition to our help.
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