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I have often wanted to sneak into a 12 Step SAA meeting just to see what goes on- and eavesdrop on the “fellowship” afterwards.
Teri, are there any ‘open’ meetings in your area? I went to an SAA meeting once to check it out and observe, was at the time when I was pushing/encouraging my suicidal addict to try meetings. Luckily for me, most of the addicts there that night were gay, so that made me feel really comfortable. Sitting there, I actually was hoping good things for them. It was weird, like I guess I saw them all as vulnerable and really lost souls, rather than monsters. Even though there were barely any sober addicts in the room. Each individual meeting/fellowship is obviously different.
There’s also phone meetings for both SAA and SA you can eavesdrops into, which I’ve done.
Teri,
SL is me!! (silver lining). I mentioned on my comment to this post that we hate words like acting out and slip! Heidi was just adding another word- trigger….Although, I use trigger sometimes (even tho I hate it too)…. But I only use it when it applies to ME. For instance, Deb had a post and she included her stupid SAH’s email which was sooooo lame and sounded EXACTLY like something MY ExSAH would have written!! It brought back flash backs, made me want to throw up, etc. so I said the email “triggered” me! (for lack of better word!)
Hope that helps!!
When I am feeling triggered it makes me want to pull a trigger and shoot him!!
And I agree with z girl, you should be the marina party planner. I am thinking up a name for your business….
SL- thanks for the clarification. I’ll try not to use the word “trigger”- I didn’t realize it was a loaded term for some. I use it all the time in regards to myself and PTSD. I’m guessing some of the SA’s have abused the term? What do you use instead?
I use ” things that fucking send me thru the roof”…. It’s a little long but it’s honest
I will try to come up with a better word/ phrase
Thanks Diane!
This should be pushed to the top any time someone is new. I should have known it was you 🙂Thanks Diane and bev, newbies can never see enough of this.
I have also included this as a complete list that goes out in automatic e-mails to newbies over the first ten days of their membership.
I think it’s good for all of us to see this list, it’s absolutely great! Thanks Sisters. ~ JoAnn
Thank you fellow sisters for all of your guidance, support. I am a newbie member. My H. was caught a few months ago as a SA. I’m going out of my mind trying to cope with this. We have been married 30 years and I have had no prior knowledge. I have been to one therapist which really didn’t help. The $ money was just going out the window…(money pit as you say) I have stopped. I’m having serious anxiety attacks, no sleep,worried all the time of the legal consequences which are coming up. My H is now in therapy at our hospital and has a well known Dr. of the field.He attends group sessions. I have attended 2 special spouses meetings. The meetings and Dr. appointments are all about him! I’m a nobody. I get the impression from the Dr. that they want the spouses to be all supportive but you are of NO IMPORTANCE – only a mechanism to deal with their problem. I’m already fed up with this…The Dr. gave a really bad report(too much info overload) which will be submitted to the Crown. It doesn’t look promising at all. My trust in the whole system has gone down the tubes. I have no trustworthy supportive friends or family who can help. My25 daughter has been here for me, but it is becoming too much to handle. Any good suggestions and thoughts on this.
I don`t know anything about English laws but I know that you desperately need a therapist for you. I am so sorry for your pain and I know exactly how you feel. Let us know how we can help…. Bev
HI pansy,
thank you for sharing your hard story. First lets tell you that you aren’t as bad as you think because you’re smart enough to recognize what’s wrong with the treatment process and lack of support for you!!! You must be a very smart and strong woman not to just lay down and let them abuse you some more!
Now, I hope you can find a therapist for your own trauma. that’s the word to use “trauma”. Force someone to deal with you, because you are a real person and your experience does count, and you matter!!!!
Sheeesh, when is the insanity of this treatment crap going to end?
light for you Pansy,
Diane.This looks like an excellent thread. I’ve had the week from hell and am under the gun to do some heavy evidence organizing over the next couple of days, but I look forward to reading through this as soon as I have the opportunity.
Love to you all!
Janet
Hi Lisacay, Welcome to the Sisterhood! No need to feel shy, we won’t bite 😉 Glad to meet you. Love, Liza
(P.S. I know JoAnn hasn’t been able to get online due to a power outage in Florida, or she’d have introduced you properly to the Sisters – Feel free to start a new topic anytime you feel like it and feel the love!)
I’m just bumping this up because it might be helpful for our new sisters to have a crash course in what we’ve been discovering and learning. It might be easier to understand some of the discussion, why they are so intense, and give the back drop to some of it.
thanks for all the insight and practical ideas for taking care of yourself, and for recognizing the often common ways of the SA/compulsives.
D.
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