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Dear Sisters,
Where do I begin? I can’t believe how long it’s taken me to get on here just to write a post. 🙁 Life has been a whirlwind lately. On Feb. 5th, I filed for divorce. It was one of the singular most empowering moments of my life.
Since then, my husband who “wanted to be friends and remain civil” has turned into the monster that I’ve been warned about. As we all know, it’s hard to believe your husband will be “that guy” until you see it for yourself. Since we have 2 kids (one in college, one still at home, in high school), I thought he’d be the “different” one. WRONG. And the sad thing is, he’s trying to gaslight me into thinking I’m the one causing problems. All because I just want a fair shake and won’t agree to his every wish and command.
Among other things, he won’t give me the bedroom back. Oh, he’ll “let” me sleep in the same bed if I want, because “he has no problem with it.” No thanks. So I’m sleeping on an air mattress. Whatever. At least it’s cozy and I’m not stressed out when I fall asleep.
The interesting thing is that he tried to bully me into going through collaborative law, whereby your attorneys agree to not go to court, if push comes to shove. You try to work things out without court. Well, imagine that: trying to bully someone into going a route where you need to be on peaceful terms. Thank God I had Silver Lining to talk to, as well as my attorney to advise against it.
So life has been crazy and stressful, with doing the financial paperwork, working full time, trying to keep life somewhat “normal” for my daughter, and putting up with constant gas lighting stress-inducing behavior from my husband.
The good news is that at least it’s forward motion. I never thought I’d be here 2 years ago. I thought we could exist in the same home until the divorce was final. I should have known better after his crazy blowout in November. So that will be next on the big plate of things to figure out.
I love and miss you all; I wish I could pop on more! I can’t wait for things to slow down a bit!!
Xoxoxo ZGHey Julie! So glad to hear from you, I’ve been thinking about you! Oh how I hate your motherfucking piece of shit loser soon-to-be-ex-husband. Prick. Hang in there, you’ll be free of him and his sex tapes soon enough. Love you, Liza
Thank you, Liza! It’s SO good to hear from you! Every time I get back on SOS, it’s like the best reunion ever!! Love you too!!
PS, how could I forget to add this: just to make things more fun, the fucker put up a match.com profile sometime in January. But then again, he’s probably never stopped his bs. I know from phone records that he is “in a relationship” with someone he met on there. WOW. And I filed for divorce in February. Do the math!Jules,
So good to see your face and get an update. So very proud of you. You are one of my favorite peeps! You hang in there girl and keep your kids close. Let us know more when you can.
Miss you much. Love, ClaireOh ZG, so awful that he’s just another pig. So glad you didn’t give into his suggestion!
But I’m glad you are valuing your life and not wasting it any longer on him. It will get there. I believe you will find inner resources you never knew you had, and I hope serve up some crow for him to eat.
Cheering for you
D.xoxoJulie, I cannot tell you how glad I am that you took the step. The thought of him always made me sick ( sicker than some of the rest) for whatever that is worth. I am sending all kinds of good stuff your way. Thank God for SL.
Julie I’m really happy for you. I know you have a long way to go before you have true peace and happiness but you are your way there. xoxo
Zumbie!!!!
I miss you too sister. My Xh became a monster too during the divorce so I know what you’re talking about. It will end then there will be some peace for you. I know it’s hard though when you’re in the mists of it. Just when you realize they didn’t have any respect for us then during divorce you realize how much they REALLY don’t like us and were the civil ones. I hope you are still enjoying your work ZG. You’re going to be just more than fine!!!
Love, NapHi Julie,
How lovely to hear from you…as always. Nothing you are saying about your H surprises me. Even after all this time on SOS, the thought of you finding that video still manages to make my gut clench. I don’t think your H is a sex addict at all. I just think he is a bad man- selfish, arrogant, deceitful, unkind and a bully. I can only imagine how difficult this has all been for you, with your sweet disposition and inclination towards compromise. So wise of you to not agree to avoiding court. I would wash his laundry in full view of the public record if he gave me any further grief. Just the same, though we crave retribution desperately, it is always wise to keep the end goal firmly in front of your mind. The objective is to get away from his toxic company and move onto a life free of lies, infidelity and emotional abuse? And in case you don’t know this Julie, it doesn’t matter who he met on match.com or what he is doing with them. HE DID NOT want this divorce, no matter what his posturing indicates. Any man who is willing to have you lay in a bed with him IS NOT indifferent to you. As you move forward in all of this, remember that. No matter what he did to you, no matter how he duped you, no matter how he hurt you, no matter what he took from you…in the end, YOU WIN and that fucker knows it. 😉 Come see us whenever you can. Love Karen xx
Yes, Julie, in the end you win. But in the meantime, I don’t see the harm in sprinkling a little itch powder in his bedsheets.
Oh I LOVE you ladies!! I need this right now. I’m still find myself fighting my fear of his intimidating ways. The fact that he’s a financial planner and has so much power over our money is part of what kept me in the game for so long. I want to say it was for all good reasons, but really that was part of it. I am TOTALLY getting that itch powder!!! Keep sending me mental strength. Love you all. xoxoxo
ummm…so I totally just ordered the itch powder. I just needed a little something to brighten my day. 🙂
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