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| User name | debinca |
| Nickname | debinca |
| Tell Us Why You Are Joining | I heard about it from IAmMarriedtoaSexAddict.com |
| First name | Deb |
| Last name | Schwarz |
| Your State | SC |
| Notes | After 22 years of marriage, I came to realize that my husband had a "secret life" that ranged from anonymous hook ups with hookers, CL ads, sexting and affairs – with women that were much older or vulnerable. Although I undersand the root cause of it (he is an incest survivor from his mother) it has been devastating. The worst was the denial phase (minimization, rationalization, the blame game and gas lighting) and the staggered disclosures and discoveries were really tough as well. I have spent the last year trying to dig myself out of the PTSD hole. I have done regular therapy with a CSAT, several intensives (including with Omar Minwalla), and PIT therapy (with Tim Stein in CA), as well as COSA and S-Anon groups. I am healing and am trying to make a "go" of my marriage despite my SAH taking the slow boat recovery route. We have four children (12 year old triplets) and a 14 year old and have recently moved from Mill Valley, CA to Daniel Island, SC (outside Charleston). I love living here – the beach, the slower pace of life, the values. |
About Me
| Year of Birth | 1960-04-09 |
| About Me | I have four children, 11 year old triplets and a 12 (nearly 13 year old). My Scottish husband and I have been married for 22 years and despite the ups and downs of sex addiction, we still love each other and are working on our recovery and our marriage, one day at a time. I am a “connector”, resource maven, and love to help others. I am a realtor, market researcher and au pair consultant, along with all the usual “mom to four” activites. I grew up in the farmlands of PA, went to college and grad school in the South, and we currently live in Marin County (across the Golden Gate Bridge). My hopes are dreams are for a serene, simple and healthy life, full of gratitude, kindness and happiness. On a personal level, I am working on trusting, loving and honoring myself. I hope to grow in my recovery and help others. I enjoy facilitating groups and have done so with adult adoptees (for search/reunion support), and battered woman (hotline and groups). I am honored to be part of this online support community and hope to share and gain insight and support from my “sisters”. |
| My Story | You can find my story on this website at: http://marriedtoasexaddict.com/discovered-husband-22-years-sex-addict/ I had a number of disclosures and discoveries in 2011 that lead me to the conclusion that my husband is a sex addict. He is still in “pre-treatment” (in and out of denial, thinks he has complete control) which is making life very difficult. I am a trauma survivor (many tsunamis) and a co-dependent (I don’t move to higher ground when they hit). |