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Penny, This anger is so huge for me. We are not married and have our own homes, so I have been at my home and have not spoken to him in 4 days. I don’t feel safe with him and I hate him. I hate him so much. And I hate that I feel this way. I want to process this anger so much and move on. I know it takes time, but I just want to punch a wall or throw a chair! Last night I did cry really hard and punch a pillow, but when will this feeling stop. Assholes!
I feel the same way. The trauma we have had to endure is so great that it clouds functioning normal everyday tasks. My heart is so fragile even the littlest things trigger me and I have a pretty tough skin. This has thrown me for a loop.
Teri, Wow…they ARE all the same! Nothing unique. Same story -different name -different state.
Sending hugs,
DawnDidi, I have struggled with boundaries and what they really are and now I get it!!! Thank you so much. You handled the call with grace and dignity.
DawnHi Lynn,
Sorry for your pain. This is a great and safe place to talk with other sisters going through the same thing.
DawnThank you so much! I have read the same thing written by many of the sisters and I thought his response sounded familiar. I’m not going to engage with him at all. Just let him stew in his own shit!
Thank you for your support. That’s exactly what I thought, but started second quessing myself.
Teri – His daughter is home from college. All the kids are with their Mom on Wed Thurs evenings and my kids are with their Dad on the same evenings so it is kind of nice because we get time together. I guess his 19 year daughter wanted to stay and he told her that she is with her mom that night and now he feels like he just kicked her out of her family home.
The undermining, unkindess, disrespect….Laughable. I don’t even have those qualities even on my worse day. I have only yelled at him LOUD 1 time during since disclosure and the kids where not around. We act like the fake happy family. They have no idea. If there is an impact on his children, it is of his own doing.
Deb – he goes to 12 step, has a SA support group and CSAT therapist. When he asked me what can I do differently, I told him he has support and he can learn from his support what to do differently. I would have expect he would already know that by now!
Love, Dawn
You’re not a dingbat, I’m a dingbat. I thought the hotel room charged on the credit card on Valentine’s Day was a surprise for me and he just forgot to take me! Oh it was for another hooker. Silly Dingbat ME:)
Stop the madness! What a manipulator and con artist. Please take care of yourself and your own well-being.
Sorry Bev. Sending hugs
Penny, he is a Sex Addict. I am 6 months out of disclosure. My therapists said “Do not trust or believe anything your SA says during the first year after disclosure.” He is doing all his stuff and that’s great! but I no longer want to focus on his recovery. I am focusing on ME and healing myself. I care about me and my well being. Wishing you peace and love.
DawnHi Daisy, Glad we all have each other. I’m finding it hard to find support within my own circle. Sisterhood had really helped me find a safe place.
xoxoI’ve been in an internal rage for several days. Trying to act like everything is fine. Can’t do it anymore. Janet, I’m now alone at home and enjoying every it very much. Chardonnay is calling my name.
Bev, Thank you for sharing that!!! I love crepe myrtles and I want to put your pond in my backyard. I too have all kinds of critters especially raccoons and the deer eat everything but I love the deer. That’s what life is all about.
Love, DawnIf you never married the asshole, the only thing you possibly will get to take with you is a STD and yearly testing.
Lisa,
Thinking about you and hoping you can find a moment of calmness and peace and know that you have a sisterhood of support and love.
DawnVictoria, I like what Bev said about sitting with your pain. I keep trying to run away from my pain, but when I just sit with it and allow myself to grieve it helps me look at the reality of my life. I’m realizing that the best thing I can do is take care of myself. I’m sorry about how you are feeling. Sending you a BIG HUG.
DawnI”m pretty much a newbie and this is a wonderful site. I have been searching and searching and searching and I found SOS! I’ve educated myself about sex addiction to the point I think I could possibly become a CSAT! hahahaha I am a very positive person and try to see all the good in people, so negativity is hard for me. With that said, sex addiction has become an epidemic recently. AND there has been no help for partners. How do you talk about this stuff with your neighbor your best friend. Most of the time you can’t. Even if I don’t post much, the stories and the support has become my best friend on SOS. Both my parents were alcoholics so I have dealt with and there are lots and lots of support for children and adults. BUT with sex addiction, SEX is the drug or the bottle of wine or the crack…. This is a very sad place for sex addicts, but even more so for the partners.
Joanne, thank you for taking charge and provide this special place for us sisters. No one else has done it. Thank youxoxo@annmarie – so nice to have a sister close by!