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Welcome. The women on this site will help keep you feeling healthy and sane. We are all here for you.
Welcome. The women on this site will help keep you feeling healthy and sane. We are all here for you.
You can also post instructions that teach women to buy a visa gift card at the grocery store to pay for it. Then it just looks like groceries.
Welcome! You have just entered the “sane” side of SA. We are here to help each other navigate through this crazy reality we now live in. This is a safe place to vent, be weak, be mad, be happy….just be yourself.
Thank you for all the posts ladies! Your suport is awesome. I love when I have my “strong” days. I too have my days when I actually feel bad for him and all the he is going through….days like those I will read all of your posts above and get my head clear again!
Separation is so necessary and I highly recommend it to you. I get my space and he gets his….ok well let’s keep this real – I get to work full time, grocery shop, cook dinner, bathe the children, read bedtime stories, get up in the middle of the night with the baby and then hit replay the next day. He gets to go to the bar, eat dinner out, watch sports on tv, sleep through the night and go to SA meetings. I actually have not had 5 min to myself since this whole thing blew up…..soooo I told my SA that he is staying at the house with the kids Friday night and sat night and I am going to stay in a hotel in the mountains all by myself!!! Exactly with the dr ordered!I consulted an attorney and he said he can deposition my H and specifically ask him questions about wether or not he went to a massage parlor or if he new person X and how, etc. to get HIM (under oath) to admit to what he has done. Not sure if this helps. Thinking of you and hoping you feel better after talking to your attorney.
Hi Working – Welcome aboard! I just joined about a week ago and I am so glad that I did. Hearing that I am not the only one who married a SA makes me feel sane. The ladies on here are awesome. I am so sorry that you are going through this crazy crap (Im sorry that I am too!) but I am glad to meet you. I figure that we are all in this shit together – 🙂
Fog machine rocks!
My son is going to be Batman (fake muscles, cape and all) and my baby girl is going to be a lady bug…sooo cute!Good feedback ladies. Constant monitoring is a huge energy and time suck and not something that I am willing to do for the rest of my life. I am using the software to monitor him so I can see if he is actually doing what he says he is doing (or says he is not doing). I found out 3 weeks ago that he is a sex addict. I am trying to decide if I want to divorce him or summon up enough energy to work through this. He is now going to therapy and claims that he is not contacting other women, looking at porn, etc but I want to watch him to see if he is able to control himself or not.
As I type this all I can think is WHAT THE F#S$ ARE WE DOING LADIES?!?! Seriously – we write to each other about how our HUSBANDS have sex with prostitutes, jack off to porn, etc. why are we wasting our time! WTF! Why do we put up with this crap. I am 35 years old – I have two young kids who are not going to even remember that their dad ever lived with us b/c they are so young. I have a whole lifetime ahead of me. Do I REALLY want to be spying on someone who puts his d#$K in a prostitute. REALLY?! I wish I could snap my fingers and fast forward to the point in my life where I am free of this sh&$.
Oh, and DebinCA – if you had eBlaster software on your computer you would not only know exactly what was going on with every single email but you would also have his new password.
lisacay, I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I’m glad you have CSAT to help you shake some sense into him. Lies on top of lies on top of lies….being furious is a good natural thing. 🙂 I will be thinking of you on Tuesday and hoping that it goes well.
Hi Deb-
I am new to this group too and after just 24 hours I am so glad that I joined. Let’s lean on each other as we work our way through this insane time in our lives.Stay strong. One day at a time.
Thank you Cindy and Bev. I have been reading through several of the posts under multiple topics and I feel like I am getting to know everyone’s situations/stories better. I wish I had a crystal ball so I could know what the future holds and could decide to get a divorce now rather than go through all of the work, therapy, money and time that I see a lot of the women coping with if in the end he is not going to be “sober”.
BTW Bev, I love your posts. You are direct, honest and call it like you see it. I love that. Please feel free to always shoot me straight!
Wow, you ladies are AMAZING. I can not express how much your kind words and sharing your experences means to me. I am so very glad that I joined this site. You all have great advice.
Just 2 weeks after finding out about my husbands addiction I slept with him. I am kind of freaking out even writing that down b/c I feel like that is so insane. Yes, I used protection. But “saying” it out loud just makes me realize that I am clearly in some sort of shocked state. I do have a therapist and I will talk to her about this b/c I seriously don’t understand my behavior.
My H went to his first 12 step meeting this week, is attending weekly therapy sessions with a SA specialist & today told two of his best friends about his addiction b/c the therapist said he needs “accountability partners”. He is taking some major steps toward sexual sobriety, but honestly I don’t know if it is going to be enough to keep me in this marriage.
We have a 9 months old baby and a 2 year old…I feel so obligated to make this marriage work. Are any of you still married? It seems that “success” stories are very rare to find.Thank you very much for your note Anniem. I want to be mad at him. I want to kick him out of the house. But instead my actions are to listen to HIM. To be supportive of HIS therapy. To feel bad for HIM. I feel like I am going crazy. I am a very strong, independent woman but I am acting like someone I don’t even know.
It is so frustrating that HE had the secret life. HE was unfaithful to me MULTIPLE times with MULTIPLE people but I am the one who has to be the “bad guy”. I am the one who has ago say “no you can’t sleep in our room”, “no you can’t live here”, “no I don’t want to go to the concert we have tickets for”, etc.
I feel like I need to kicked into gear – woken up – face reality. But instead I find my self sitting at the dinner table like we are one happy family, going to a wedding this past weekend with him, etc.
I feel crazy.
