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But by printing out the pages to show he was on Craigslist at work it’s almost like he wanted you to know and maybe put a stop to it? You would know him better, of course–is that a possibility? He could’ve just kept doing Craigslist at work without you knowing . . .
Thanks, ladies. I know that is true. He really did seem to have another side and struggle with trying to overcome his addiction and be faithful to me at times, but ultimately he gave in and I believe he does just want someone who looks at him like he’s great because she doesn’t have a clue about his ugly double life. The hardest thing is we work together–met at an old job and after I found a new job he followed me 3 months later. And we’re not normally on the same floor but until the end of the summer we are on the same floor too!
I am going to a prayer retreat this Friday/SAturday to try to cleanse some of the toxicity that he brought into my life/spirit/soul. There are so many wonderful women on this site, I have such a busy schedule that I don’t get on here very much but I’m going to try to do it more often because it always uplifts me.
Thanks again, God bless and have a beautiful Sunday.Bb, I bet your son secretly appreciates that you are being the grown-up and doing what’s best for him, not what’s easy. Kids really do want limits. Glad you have a new man–hope I will get to that stage at some point and be able to trust him.
I’m out, and see how pathetic and manipulative he was, but still feeling sad for my “loss.” What things have helped people get over this? I still get twinges of missing when things were “good” even though it never lasted and i always worried about when the other shoe would drop.
Hurtheart,
I came on here to “get over myself” because I know other women involved with SAs have it so much worse, and boy did your post set me straight! I will pray for you, that if you do manage to bring the baby full-term, he or she will be a source of joy to you. Is there no one you can stay with while you file for divorce? It sounds like at least he has a job, and he can be ordered to pay support even before the divorce is final in many states. Just letting him keep exposing you and your precious daughter to filth is so wrong. I am sending prayers and love your wayFlora, he said that she was controlled by her dad, totally changed when they had children, was rigid and would never compromise. She is very angry and rigid now in her dealings with him, so i could believe it. He used to be an alcoholic and he admits that was a big part of the problem. But now i believe that she must have found out at some point about other women (including the same married one I’ve had to deal with, she goes back a ways with him) and that may be what has made her so bitter. I definitely believe he is narcissistic, not sure about sociopath but will have to read that book. We have this weird bond where he can tell when I’m making concrete plans to pull away and then he goes into another level of attention. Yesterday he showed up unexpectedly at my door, which never happens, and tonight he got out of his car at stoplight to run back to kiss me, and just called to say hi even though i talked to him quite a bit at work.
that is the most helpful thing, to read the stories of women who kept hoping and years and years passed. i keep telling him if he is going to get himself together he better do it soon because i am not going to let him string me along while my relative youth and attractiveness (I’m 46 but look younger, am in good shape) i think the best thing about this will be to help me to gather strength.
Hi Silver Lining, I can so identify with how living with the SA makes us do things we would never have thought to do. I have called strange women and confronted them, I have parked my car around the corner and spied on his driveway, I have called the husband of his married woman, etc. Way more drama than I ever imagined. I am otherwise a very attractive, well-paid professional. I feel that I can’t talk to any of my friends any more about him because they have lost patience with the many second chances I’ve given him. It seems so obvious that we should just leave, but somehow I want to believe his BS and try just a little bit longer.
Shop around and get a good, aggressive divorce atty recommended by someone you know if possible. You can also look in martindale.com and look for lawyers rated “AV”
Good luck to you!
helaine21
