Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Thank you all. Beenthere, yes, yes and yes, except for the polygraph. H and I talked about Dday, and he offered that anything I need to do for myself that day, to go ahead and do it…….He said that he would welcome that day, that he no longer fears that he will have to keep secrets from me and won’t have to lie to me. I thought that was a little over the top. I know what he means, he is sincere about his recovery, I’m just confused……maybe it’s just too soon to try and put all these pieces together.
I “excused” my parents from my life because it was not a healthy relationship for ME, over 20 years ago. I have not been sorry one damn day. My child abusing father is dying of cancer, I don’t care. It’s his karma. My life has been the better for it. It’s not easy, there is grief to go through, but it passed.
Welcome Kikuye. We all know how you are feeling in the nightmarish moment. I’m sorry your world has been destroyed. I’m glad you’re here, we can help.
Shattereddreams, This is the best place you could be, and I’m so very sorry you’re here. I’m new also and have found these ladies willing to listen and talk. I found out my H was a sex addict about 3 years ago after 14 years of marriage. He was clean but then relapsed a few months ago. We also are trying to work it out but it is HARD after your life as you knew it was blown apart. READ! Read about PTSD symptoms so you are not so hard on yourself. There is real trauma here! These ladies will not tell you to “get over it”, they understand. Follow the links here, they will give you the information you need to cope. Keep coming back, we’ll support you, or carry you as much as you need.
I have found that healing is not linear….it is a rollercoaster. I have PTSD and by recognizing it and acknowledging it I can sometimes over come it. I used to drink it away, that surely didn’t work…..If I have to, I just take the day off. I deserve it and so do you. I just hope the next day is better…Take care….
Diane, what incredible insight you have and how strong you are!! I don’t have any insights for this, still so raw, but I will watch for plateaus, thank you for posting this.
It was through this site that I found out about ISH and Dr. Minwalla, THANK YOU SISTERS! Bless this man for seeing the needs of partners and not the addicts. I copied lots of info from the ISH site and sent it to my therapist, who is also my husband’s therapist. We had a 2 hour session last week, it was hell but made some progress. I read parts of a book I found about the trauma that partners experience, I could see that both of them were surprised and uninformed. Thanks for sharing Barbra, Sisters please keep on sharing!
Having been a victim of identity theft, I ALWAYS log out no matter where I am in cyberspace. However, the identity theft happened because I didn’t know I should log out, EVERY SINGLE TIME FROM EVERY SITE. If it is possible JoAnn and not too convoluted, I say go for it.
Thanks to everyone who responded. My heart hurts for every single one of you….and my heart will never fully heal or fully love him again. Thank you for continuing to help me take off the blinders, I continue to berate myself to the tune of “How could I be so stupid not to see the signs”. Eight years of the marriage with no intimacy, I was angry but put up with it. Well, we all know why there was no sex, he was having sex with videos, chat rooms and on the phone. D day was 4 years ago with a recent relapse. Since I am a recovering alcoholic, AA asks that you don’t make any life changes for a year. I told him I’d give him and the marriage that one year. Thank you for being here and your total acceptance……
Welcome Hometeam. I’m sorry you are here, but here is a good place FOR YOU to start your journey through the nightmare with support.
Awesome!! Very inviting for spouses! I would leave in the “what you did wrong” because it certainly was true for me in the beginning before I knew, I DIDN’T DO A DAMN THING WRONG!
Hi AmyPatrice,
I’m new here also. My husband also was addicted to phone sex, that hurt me worse than the pornography….I’m glad you found us!!Hi AmyPatrice,
I’m new here also. My husband also was addicted to phone sex, that hurt me worse than the pornography….I’m glad you found us!!lynng2, I meant that I am AA 30 days sober, no alcohol for 30 days. However, in my husband’s SA meetings, they call is “sober” also.
I’m sure it is no surprise to any of you, but I broke out crying while reading your posts…..I have been alone for too long. Thank you for your warm and direct welcomes. I made discovery of SA’s porn 3 years ago, after a nervous breakdown (PTSD) thought things were ok, he relapsed 2 months ago. While searching for help, came across the sexual addiction definition, it fit. Thrown back into PTSD with this new knowledge. I’m not a wimp, this is the worst thing I’ve ever been through. He is working on his stuff, therapy and meetings, I’m 30 days sober. Why I chose to get sober right now is beyond me…….I can’t let him back into my heart and I am so damn scared. Thanks for the support.