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Okay–I am on vacation. Right?
I’m on my island, enjoying paradise. Right?
We just found the perfect home to buy–getting ready to post pictures for all my Sisters. Right?
Well. Jessica (from Anderson Cooper) called today and wants me to come to NYC next week to be on the show with a legal prostitute to debate why hookers hook and how that affects all of us.
She said she was researching last night and thought, ‘I’ll just call JoAnn, she’ll know about this.’
So, we talked for over an hour, and I put her off until tomorrow morning to make a decision.
So my dear Sisters, I may get to speak my piece to the entire world.
Oh, and she said that the piece than lynng did is being saved to air during ‘ratings week’ in February.
Damn–just can’t find a way to relax!
This is great–and ratings week for Lynn, fabulous!!! I feel like its a bittersweet congrats for all of us!
Yeah, they just called me to let me know about the change in scheduling for that piece.
Have fun, JoAnn.
I like George Clooney Andersen Cooper is just ok. Hey, great news though! It’s not everyday you get to talk to a real live hooker.
Be careful. Don’t get eaten up by the ratings machine.
How can it be serious debate if it is with a hooker??I think it’s insulting.
Yeah….I am not sure about this one? I thought our piece was why just because we marry psychos are we then labled co-psychos and why doesn’t anyone first test them for insanity before they start treating them for an addiction? What does the pros and cons of having legal hookers have to do with that?
Lots of our H’s have gotten to talk to real live hookers!
I may be the odd ball out on this… but I have nothing against prostitutes. I have something against the married men who screw them.
joann where do you stand on this. i would think it has to be a on the fence sort of situation for you. as for me i think it would be hard for me not to let my personal emotions play into it. yet i feel you have come to some sort of peace with your life.
Yes Sisters, I have my issues with this, and that’s why I put Jessica off until tomorrow.
I really have to think long and hard on this one (where are you Diane? I need you.)
Not to push any buttons, or trigger anyone, but here is the article that ‘inspired’ Jessica (AC’s program manager) to put together this show:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bethany-st-james/sexuality-romance_b_1196610.html
She (hooker) has talked with Jessica and has stated that tired old reasoning that ‘we (hookers) provide a service that their wives or girlfriend’s won’t’.
Jessica was apprehensive about having me on the show with this woman as I might consider her (the hooker) the enemy or the reason that Larry cheated.
Well, that is just absurd. Hookers did not make Larry do the things he did. Hookers are not the problem. Sex Addicts are the problem, with their own intimacy issues and compulsions.
I do not feel that hookers are our enemies. Quite the contrary, I feel that they are also victims. Victims of childhood trauma, victims of sexual abuse and victims of just being a woman in a world that exploits women.
Unfortunately some ‘professionals’, like the woman in the above mentioned article, tend to be arrogant, defensive and have an attitude that just makes me want to kill.
But, my heart knows that any woman who sells her body has to have deep wounds that allow her sell her body and even deeper wounds that make her justify it.
Hookers are just an easy outlet for sexually addicted men.
So Sisters, I really need some input here while I sleep on this.
This could be a real opportunity to educate, debate and maybe slip our cause into the media mix. But, it will also exhaust me and try my patience to the limit.
This is a long, hard, uphill battle with societal mores, patriarchal attitudes and painful realities. My heart tells me that I must transcend my own pain in order to forward the message. But, that is really a difficult task and I’m not certain that I am up for it.
Please, help me with this decision.
Thanks for sharing JoAnn. IMO it a show about apples and oranges yet they think it’s a show just about apples. Now if they had you interviewing a SA then I would get that. If they had you interviewing a spouse of a SA, I would get that. However, you and legal hooker, it’s two different topics put into one, which could end up making no sense. This is my take on it. For whatever it’s worth.
Love, NapSo, I read the link you posted JoAnn…and I don’t see how talking with the self described expert on sensual pleasure would have anything to do with a conscious, rational, safe (for you) discussion on sex addiction and it’s horrors. As a matter of fact, given that Jessica thought to call you to have the discussion would indicate that Jessica has no idea of the trauma, abuse, PTSD, fallout and horror that we all go through when our husbands compulsively engage in pornography / prostitution etc. There is quite a debate in the “sensual arts” community on whether people naming sex addiction as “sex addiction” are just prudish conservatives who have a problem with being liberal and exploring sensuality. That topic is also not related to what life is like for the spouse or child of a sex addict. The fact that the media doesn’t have a handle on that….and that they would put you in the line of fire (out of their own ignorance) is reprehensible. If there is one thing that I have learned from dealing with my husband, it is “never assume that the person you are talking to is conscious or sober”.
I know that I am new here and these are strong opinions….please bear with me 🙂
I have had lots of discussions with Barb Steffens on the mockery, hatred, hate mail, and general misogyny and disgust that she seems to engender when she speaks out on behalf of women like myself….in public, in areas that are a whole heckuva lot less like Gerry Springer that this seems to be.
So I guess, I just want to repeat myself…please be very careful.Lila
And, I’d like to add, that if it was me, I would not do it, not for millions of dollars, not for nothing. Nada. Nope. No way. It is as NAP has said, apples to oranges…a horror show. Making us into a sideshow for the entertainment of the American public.
Lila
I think its a red herring invitation.
If the legalization of hookers is the issue that is driving the work you are doing, JoAnn, then I guess you would want to do this.
If it is isn’t the driving issue for you, but you choose to debut on this issue, I think you can expect to have it dog you and undermine your work for wives/partners of sex addicts.As far as I know, you are the first one to create enough web buzz on this issue, and you stand in a place of authority and influence. If you put yourself into legalizing prostitution, I think that’s where you will end up staying as far as the mainstream media is concerned. And perhaps that is why you are being asked to speak on this topic. YOu are far more powerful if you stick to the sex addiction issue.
I think you deserve more than the possibility that you can “slip” something in about it and hope nobody “snips” it out again in the editing. But hey, nobody is asking me to be on Anderson!
My initial response to all THAT crap would be the exact type of behavior one would see on Jerry Springer. In the very least, my side of the “arguement” would never be heard because it would be one looooong bleep.
I think it’s pointless. An “intelligent’ discussion with a prostitute about whether or not wives sexually please their husbands has nothing to do with the price of tea in China. And it won’t be intellectual… because she sounds like she has a few screws loose.
Katt~ very good point. This is the one case where talk ain’t cheap!
I wouldn’t waste my time with it (especially vacation time). It’s not the subject of your interest, in my opinion. We need to advocate support for partners of sex addicts. I don’t think arguing with a prostitute on national TV will get us anywhere.
It is flattering that they are interested in you but I think I would tell them you will accept when they offer a show about something really important to you.
Claire
ok joann i looked the story- then i looked at her twitter- then i went to the ranch she works at. the story is her way of justifying what she does it is no more that what my partner does. omit, minimise, glorify, the whole shebang. lets blame the partner she doesnt give him what he wants. so he can pay me and live out his fantasies. i will love him, give him support, intimacy what every his heart desires. she no where mentions fact that every thing she does has a price i always said if you bag up dog shit pretty enough someone would buy it. i do feel sorry for these woman but not at how the press can make everything ok. i wouldnt put much faith in a tv show to show the damage that is happening to this woman nor any other woman caught in this shit
much love katt.Joann, there may be a way to circumvent the debate regarding legalizing prostitution and just stick to the contention that wives/partners’ performance have nothing to do with SA’s compulsion for illicit sexual experiences. The largely unknown fact that most were driven to it before we met them and marriage could never fix them. Many on this site had exciting, adventurous sex lives and their husbands were still trolling for that elusive fill for that void in their soul. Aligning prostitution with porn as stepping stones for an escalating sexual compulsion that can never be satisfied because it is about the chemical rush that needs ever increasing external stimulai verses relational sexual that is increasingly enhanced by deepening emotional intimacy. I don’t think many prostitutes have been exposed to the components of healthy, intimate sex, or why they play into the reverse. Good luck to you! XXLylo
Well, it’s 2am and I’m still up and still toiling. I have thought and said out loud all that each of you said here and more. I do get all those things, I know her rationalizations to justify her life choices are just that, and, of coarse I understand, as we all do, that what they sell is no more than a fantasy bought and paid for.
I guess in my musings I did not say that enough. And yes, I do think it should legalized, not because I think they provide a necessary service, but to give them a little protection from some of the abuses they suffer. They are also sad victims of that same vicious cycle of childhood abuse that our husbands are. But, I also know that legalizing it still exploits women and will do nothing to help or hinder Sex Addiction.
But that is not my argument, nor my burning passion, and the misguided rhetoric that was expressed in that article is enough to make anyone ill.
And,I think you are right, that this is a red herring. When I was talking with Jessica I kept coming back around to the question of how my (our) story fit with this prostitute’s story.
She would listen to me, ask me a lot of questions about my story, but then always circle back around to, ‘but, she says that she provides what wives do not, what do you think about that, JoAnn?’ and I just kept saying, ‘that’s just not true, there is no basis for that assumption.’
I guess, looking back on that conversation, I have my answer.
They want to debate why hookers hook and I want to talk about the impact of Sex Addiction on partners lives. Hookers are incidental to that, and what they think about their lifestyle or how they justify what they do has nothing to do with our story.
It’s kind of like asking a fireman to debate with an arsonist.
And you are right, it has absolutely nothing to do with the price of tea in China.
I think they just want to use me to get ratings by putting a new twist on a very old story.
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