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Hi sisters, My mother passed away Aug 20th. She has been either in hospital or nursing home since February on hospice care. It has been a long and difficult road for her and my family. I’m glad she is finally at peace. I was able to spend time with her before she died, and also when she drew her last breath. I was able to tell her that I loved her and that I would miss her. Funny thing is though…I think I’ve been grieving, but I’m not sure. It sometimes takes me weeks or months to process something like this, so I’m not sure it has really hit home yet.
My summer has been busy with two of our daughter’s weddings in May and August, and another daughter’s wedding coming up in November, and another new grandbaby…JOY!! I’m struggling with my SAH in his recovery process, and I am feeling overwhelmed some days. So, please keep me in your thoughts? I’m afraid I’m going to crash and I need your support in a way that only you ladies can give. (I hope I put this in the right place:)!
Thanks, and love you all, ms-lindyReply (0) Favorite
Oh, I am so sorry…I will keep you in my thoughts.
My h’s mom has terminal cancer and my own mother is in good health but 89. A lot of us are right there with you, in so many, many ways.
love,
L
Ms-Lindy,
No wonder you have been MIA!!! You have been through a LOT!!! MY gosh… I can’t imagine. I hope you will take care of yourself and allow yourslef time to process after this last wedding. I still can’t imagine.. I’ve done a few weddings.
Keep us posted on you. There is a lot going on in your life and it sounds like you have not had a moment to grieve.
Thanks for the update.
Love, Debora
Thanks sisters. MIA Deb, that makes me smile. Thanks Deb and cbs, for the notes, it jogged me back into action for a moment. I love you all.
No, I’m not close to her. Still, its very sad. I haven’t even talked to her, in a while and she had to go to the hospital for a few days, but she’s back home now, so I should give her a buzz.
When we got married in 1988, I had a bit of money from an inheritance (my 38 yr old bro had died the year before) 🙁 and so, I flew her out to Wisconsin, from Cape Town. It was my pleasure. Since my h’s idiot father, couldn’t figure out how to do it, I thought it would be nice if ONE of his parents was there?
So, on our honeymoon, my MIL stayed with us in our one bedroom apartment in Manhattan. lol No biggie… But, one day, I overheard her and my husband talking in the next room and my MIL in her most imperious voice telling my h how I wasn’t winning any points with her.
wtf???
So, in take no prisoners, Lexie-style, I marched straight in there, and told them BOTH to go and fuck themselves.
Ever since that… We’ve gotten along just fine.
boundaries.
hang tough honey.
Ms Lindy,
First and foremost, [HUGS]!!!!!!!
I am so sorry to hear of your Mom’s passing! 🙁 I have been thinking of you and wondering where you were?? Well, now we know and understand perfectly! Wow! What am emotional summer you have had!!! And how bittersweet- the passing of a dear loved one and the welcoming of another!! What a special time!
We won’t even get into SA right now- we can save that for another post at another time! You have soooo much on your plate!!
I often think of comforting things you have said to me, and in fact, quote you quite a bit! I have missed your kind words and wisdom! I hope when things settle down you can get back on here and jump right in! We are never complete without ALL of our sisters!!
As I think you know, my Mom had a lengthy illness and then passed away about 9 years ago. I understand your grieving and pain. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t think of her and the special person she was to me in my life….. I can tell you, it DOES get better! It just takes lots of time.
You have been through so much and still have more!! We will be thinking of you during this most personal time in your life. We love you so much and miss you!! We will look forward to hearing from you again soon!!
Good luck with the 3rd wedding! (Yikes- I’d murder those girls, lol) and enjoy the new baby!!!!Lots of hugs and love,
SL
ms-lindy,
I cannot imagine the conflict of feelings you must be experiencing. You have an ending, three beginnings of new paths and a new life. All this in the context of one of the most devastating betrayals of your core, from someone you loved, trusted and was dedicated to.
How do you expect yourself to be able to feel loss, hope for your daughters and joy and excitement for that new little life. The betrayal cuts into all of these, hoping that your mother never experienced something like this and glad that she is at peace, praying that your daughters never have to know the pain of the inhuman destruction from a partner and a new innocent life that has come into a world full of such duplicity.
How, what or which one do you grieve or celebrate. Isolated each would have their own impact (for good or bad) but all together and with the addition of the betrayal of your life, all you can do it take one breath at a time. Maybe time will separate each into isolated experiences that you look upon with joy, sorrow or whatever.
I am glad that you were able to have those moments with your mother before she passed. Will be thinking of you and hope you can find little nuggets of peace, one day at a time.
Hi ms-lindy,
I am so sorry to hear about your mother’s passing, how comforting it must be for you to know that you did your best to make that happen with dignity and comfort and love:)
There is an old Russian proverb that I particularly like “We live as long as we are remembered.” I am sure that your mother will “live” a very long time, and hoping those memories of her help you through the grieving.
Love,
MarieMs Lindy,
My deepest sympathy to you and your family for the loss of your mother. I have missed your posts and you have been busy with many things, so I understand. Thinking of you and wishing you much sisterhood support.
Love, NapDear Ms. Lindy,
I’m thinking of you, especially since your birthday is this weekend, and your mother was an important piece of that day. I hope you will be able to get the rest you need after such a difficult August. My mother is 89. I know she can’t keep going forever, but am grateful for every laugh we have together now.It’s good to have you back. We missed you. Take care of yourself.
Diane.Hi ms-lindy!
I’ve missed you on here, but you’ve been in all of our thoughts often. That’s how we sisters roll. 🙂 I’m so very sorry to hear about your mom’s passing. You said you weren’t sure if you were grieving–I’m sure you are still in shock, especially coupled with the joy and craziness of all of the wedding planning. Wow–I think one wedding a year would just about do me in, let alone three. Just know you are in our thoughts always.
Sending you strength and love,
ZGMs lindy,
My heart goes out to you. Grief is a funny thing, I didn’t grieve over my first husband for almost a year; I just wasn’t ready yet. Healing thoughts are headed your way.
Hugs and love,
SS
Hi Lindy,
Like all the sisters, I am so sorry for all your losses. Even in joyful events like weddings, my betrayal is ever present, dampening the seemingly joyful event-not completely, but dimming the brightness of joy…
I cannot imagine being without my mother, even though she frustrates me at times. Such major events for you. You are stronger than you think…these events could overwhelm anyone. Jeannette expressed things so well.
You are loved and missed. Could you make it to the slumber party coming up, even for a little bit? We would love to hug you up, cry and laugh with you! B. Trayed
ms lindy-I am so sorry for your loss. I am so glad you had the opportunity to tell your’e mom you loved her before she died-that must give you a lot of comfort. I didn’t get that opportunity, because we all thought my mom was recovering well, and then took a turn for the worse.
You have had so much on your plate, and that makes me sad. I know you are dealing with your h recovery,as well, and hope he is working sincerely on it.
Much love and prayers sent your way.
Love.Ms. Lindy,
So sorry for you loss. It was nice that you were able to have those last moments with her, that really is a gift.
Congrats on the weddings and more to come. Make sure you take time for you when you can while things are chaotic and crazy. Get lots of rest, take your vitamans, and make sure you have some down time.
Sending love and hugs your way,
Love,
FloraMy dearest ms-lindy,
I am so sorry for your loss of your Mom. I worked in Hospice for years and always felt honored to attend a death when the family was close and had time to say their good byes. This always made for a peaceful passing with a wonderful sense of closure. What a comfort it must have been for both you and your Mom to share that very special last moment. My heart is with you.
But all the rest! My goodness, you really have had a full plate this summer! Share those stories with us. Tell us about the weddings and the new grand baby. Those stories of joy uplift us all.
So glad you are back. Big, big hugs to you!
Dear Lindy,
Very sorry to hear about your mum! My relationship has not been perfect with my mother BUT I know the day she passes on my life will never again be quite the same, so I am trying to squeeze time in while I have it.
You certainly are experiencing the circle of life in a short time frame….much to take in? Please take care and pop in when you can. Karen xx
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