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This isn’t the first time, but hopefully it will be the last time I have to recover from surgery with my SA still in my home. I’ve had a bad string of luck with my health since I married my SA {sometimes I feel as if he brought the bad luck to me with his bad karma and ill intentions} and it’s the first time I’ve had to “depend” on him whilst recovering from surgery that leaves me almost immobile since d-day #1-3. I’ve had some half-assed help with him, along with some other people who have to assist me with caring for my 2 year old. What irks me the most is knowing all the things he was doing in the past when I was helpless, and now wondering what he is doing again in order to help HIM “cope” with MY pain and suffering. Needless to say, the pain & suffering he has inflicted upon me is far worse than any of these surgeries. He’s been a total prick to me for the past week, and his parents haven’t been much better since they have developed “amnesia” about his problem, and keep telling me what a great guy he is. RIGHT. Just like he was a great guy the last time I was in the hospital and he was out spending all of our money on dirty nasty prostitutes.
It’s been difficult, and there are several more weeks to go for rehab, etc., plus the news I got from the doc today on my post-op visit wasn’t very encouraging, since it appears I may need surgery again on the knee, and also on my other knee.
Just another thing that the SA has ruined; the faith and trust I put into him to care for me “through sickness and health”. He never cared for me through either, and having to have him help me bathe is giving me severe flashbacks and making me cry once I get back into the bed.Hurtheart, so sorry that you’re having to deal with so much at once. Sending healing thoughts your way.
hurtheart sorry about the news but good to see your up to being back with us hope your healing goes fast and this brings you one step closer to the life you want keep us posted
Hi hurt heart – sorry you are having such a hard time. My prayers are with you. Get well soon. You say you have had a bad streak of luck since you married your’e SA – well, that is probably no accident. When we are under stress, our immune system is compromised. Get well and get rid of that asshole husband of yours.
Obviously, his parents are in denial or covering for they’re son. You need to get in a healthy environment – please find a way to do so.
Love to you.Hurtheart,
I wish you a quick recovery. Sometimes things never change with the SA or their parents. My SA’s parents are sending him on a week long trip to san francisco, where they have paid for the plane ticket and I am sure they will give him spending money. Yes sure that is nice of them, but both neglect to even see the big picture that he is a leach and dependent on others to take care of him. So instead of thempaying for a treatement center, which he said they would do in the past, he is instead going on vacation with that money! So I had hoped for so much more, that he would turn around someday, but it is never going to happen. Especially when his parents act like he does not have a problem and are sending him on trips (rewards for being useless). Not to mention he is living with them, and i am sure they are in no way encouraging him to do anything that resembles trying to get back into the relationship and trying. Becuase that is what is happeneing…nothing. So hurtheart i wixh you luck, but as others have said when you are able please try to get ou of the unhealthy situation you are in. I have read several books where living in this type of relationship has in fact caused serious health problems…due to stress. So like Sharron said, helath problems could be due to the lifestyle you are having to endure. I know I was overeating and had severe anxiety, touble sleeping. If those were to continue long enough, they would lead to health problems. so take care of yourself!Hi Hurtheart,
My thoughts are with you and for your healing. Im glad you are back, we missed you. I hope there are other people you can count on to help you. Sending healing thoughts your way and I hope you dont need any more surgery.Thank you so much. My sisters here are an enormous comfort to me.
My recovery has hit a speed bump, I have developed an infection; I’ve been running a high temp with severe headaches and chills, sick to my stomach, etc., which has made me even THAT much more dependent on the scumbag I call my husband. It has been tough. I’m sitting here trying to heal from both the surgery and the infection, and all I can do is remember what he has done, and how much I resent ever marrying him. It’s as if the fever is making me have traumatic flashbacks or something, for now I had to have him sleep in the bed with me {first time since d-day in June 2010} as I am physically unable to get out of it on my own. I’ve also had to have him care for my daughter, which disgusts me. Having him bathe me, and watch me writhe in pain, vomit, etc, is horrible, for I know the last time i was doing this {concussion in June with 10 staples across my head} he was out having sex with prostitutes.
The whole thing is just mentally draining at this point. I just want to recover and begin my rehab so I can start the process of ridding him and his toxic behavior from my life.Hurtheart, I’m SO very sorry you’re suffering so much – both physically and mentally. I’m praying that you feel much better soon. Your sister, Liza
Hurtheart,
Sooooooooo sorry that you are having to go through all of the recovery from surgery along with all of your heart ache.You have such wisdom in your words. I can relate to much of what you have written. I hope that you get better soon and your recovery goes from your knee all the way to your heart.
Wish I could be there to help you!!!
Cindy
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