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Dear sisters,
You know the feeling when you’re at a party and then after a time you realize it’s time to go, that’s where I’m at.SOS was a wonderful experience for me and I made many friends here. It was my life line during one of the hardest times in my life. You all help me so much and I hoped I helped you too.
I have no hard feelings towards anyone. My heart broke for Ella today. Just human being to human being. I hate to see anyone hurting and she is and I feel so bad about this whole thing. To me the what when why’s don’t matter any more it was just too sad and painful for me.
I wish everyone the best in life and thank
you for an experience I will never forget.Love everyone, Nap
NAP ~ really sorry to hear this. I was looking forward to getting more advice from you. I think you are awesome and if you are leaving (I am in denial) I hope it is because you are in a great place and have graduated from us. I wish I was on the other side of this part of my life ~ whatever that brings.
peace
HeidiNAP, I am sad to read your post. I hope you will revisit your decision, as I can’t imagine being on SOS without you and your
beautiful spirit. 🙁 Thank you for all of your wisdom, support, and love. I hope you’ll change your mind, but if you don’t, I understand your feelings.Love, Julie
Dear NAP,
thank you for your presence here. You are comfort and challenge and laughter and beauty, and you shared them all with us.
I am very sad to lose your company. I will never forget you.
I wish you would stay. What will I do without your poems, your questions, your “finish the sentence” posts?
And I’m just going to say it—it’s not a good reason IMO. But I respect that it is YOUR reason, NAP.
You made me cry first thing this morning. Sad, frustrated, and yes, angry tears. I’ve seen a lot in 25 years of ministry, but nothing upsets me more than this kind of outcome.
Sigh. I hate saying goodbye to you. I hate it. But here it is.More love and light to you than usual, because I won’t get a chance to send it to you in person anymore.
Diane xoxonap what do i say, i could get on my knees and beg,cry, plead with you. i know that would not work would it…….. it seems like every time we find this place inside us someone or something takes that and turns it to shit. but then we go on and realize we are ok, we realize that just maybe we can look back one day and see it made us stronger somehow. you have been the one person who helped me early on with your humor, your never give up , your gift of love, hope, life. i feel so lost right now with words i hate that. i wish you the world and do what feels right for you. take all the time you need.
WE WILL WAIT and BE HERE FOR YOU
love kathy aka kattHi everyone,
It’s time for me to leave, too. I have loved being a part of all of your lives and sharing mine with you. I have seen so muchpersonal growth and I have had so much personal growth during my time here, and I can’t even begin to thank all of you for what you have given me. You are amazing women and getting stronger every day,and I know that all of your stories will have a happy ending.
Love,
MarieNAP, NAP, NAP, you cannot go! Please reconsider. We need you and I know you need us. This is very sad news. Things will get better here on the site, but we need you to help us get there. I don’t usually beg, but I really don’t want you to go.
Marie, you are a valuable source here. I can’t imagine this place without you. I wish you would reconsider also.
But I get that your minds are made up and you have the right to do what’s best for you.
Holy crap, though, you will be so very missed.
Much love, Claire
The devastation and loss I feel at both Marie and NAP leaving, two of my favorite posters and people, is horrible. I am at work holding back tears. This is the hardest part of my life thus far, and now some of my support is abandoning me. I am devastated. I feel so hopeless. As my decision to dissolve this marriage or not is in front of me everyday, two helpful people in my journal are gone. Trust…I hate trust. I actually hate life right now. Sometimes I just want to give up.
Marie,
I do hope you will reconsider. You have been such a resource and support, even more so for those of us who have SA’s attempting recovery. You know, when discussions get heated between my husband and myself, he tells me I run. And he’s right. Now I understand what that feels like–I’m feeling it right now, and it hurts. Anyway, just my thoughts. I respect your decision and NAP’s, although I’m really sad and disappointed.
Marie, I did want to address one thing in the hopes that you’ll pop back on before you officially go. You really made a point of singling out the sisters at the retreat for not responding to the post and staying silent. I did find that a bit off the mark. I was able to respond and comment yesterday because I am a stay at home mom. Even at that, I slept really late because I was dog-tired. I suspect most of the ladies had jobs to get back on a Monday morning, as well as sleep to catch up on. Some ladies had taken a day or 2 off work and most likely had to catch up on duties or hours missed. This issue of Ella’s husband’s post was in no way a topic of lengthly group conversation at the retreat. We were there for such a short amount of time, and spent it talking about OUR OWN lives, the good and the bad. We could not afford to waste it on other issues even if we wanted to. And I suspect that many ladies, although I can’t speak for them, would want to stay out of it, and let the involved parties handle it. Nobody knew the contents of the post until Ella posted it yesterday, and it was a lot to digest. I, like you, did know because she pm’d me, but I absolutely did not share it with the group. In fact, I put it in the back of my mind and didn’t even respond to her personally until I had a huge layover and some down-time at the airport Sunday. I do feel it was inappropriate for her to put it here as a forum and start drama. That in NO WAY excuses hurtful comments put on that post, by any means. But it is a separate website, and Ella’s husband put himself out there. I was fine with Ella pm-ing me because I knew she wanted to explain her reasons for leaving, and she knows she’s been helpful to me.
But I was startled to see it put out there as a forum. To me, THAT speaks of 12-year-old behavior. Respectfully, that is just my opinion.
Again, I do hope you will reconsider (and you too, NAP). You are two wonderful ladies.
With love and respect, JulieDearest NAP and Marie,
I too, have wanted to leave this site and changed my mind only to change it again and one day soon I probably will leave. So, I understand on some level the need/want of leaving and won’t pressure you to stay if your hearts aren’t in it.
I just want you both to know, you are truly wonderful, inspirational women and I’ll miss you each.
Love,
SSDear Nap and Marie,
Marie, you are one of the few women on here really doing recovery the way it should be done, while remaining with your husband. Partners who are trying to do the same desperately need your perspective. Nap, you are moving ahead with your life. Many women here and many women that will come here, will end up doing just that. They need to know it will be ok. Though your situations and perspectives are different…you are 2 of our coolest heads. I am urging you to reconsider. At some point we will all need to move along BUT I hate to see our group split over one bad situation. We have all lived in bad situations for many,many years. Have we not learned any other compromise besides walking away? I am very sorry about Ella. I asked her to stay on more than one occasion but she is not going to listen to me. I am praying that both of you will listen and take time to reconsider this decision. MUCH LOVE AND RESPECT
Karen xxNAP,
Please do not leave. I will miss you so much!!
I hope you are not leaving because of the drama. Maybe you don;t need us anymore, but we need you!Marie…the same. Please reconsider.
Love you both,
FloraI have not been on the site as much since the school year started, and I haven’t read many postings from the retreat to know why NAP and Marie are leaving. Sometimes leaving or pulling back for awhile helps get balance back. Life cannot be consumed by the pain and memories of what SA has done to our lives. I think I have pulled back several times for that reason. Then I came back in, reading posts, responding, adding new thoughts. I know Marie and NAP have been more involved than drifting in and out, so their absence is more pronounced. However, maybe they will come back, once they are in a different place and are drawn back, maybe exactly for the relationships rather than as a place to examine that what brought devestation and pain. Patience and time.
I’m so sorry for the pain and abandonment and loss some of you are feeling. It will get better.
Hi Sunny,
Thank you for caring about our feelings of loss at this time. It is difficult. And just for clarity, the retreat HAPPENED to occur when two people were having issues (not NAP and Marie). The retreat was wonderful and unfortuanately Marie and NAP could not attend. It looks like the disagreement with the two people and perhaps how it was handled, caused Marie and NAP to leave, but the retreat had nothing to do with the conflict. We at the retreat just chose not to get involved in two people’s conflict because we did not know about all the details and the other person in the conflict did not attend the retreat. Just wanted to clarify. Again, thank you. Hugs, B. Trayed
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