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It makes me so very sad to reread and relive what our sweet Sister Julie has endured with that bastard. She’s in the process of divorcing him now, and it’s getting real ugly. Watch and learn, girls. 🙁
Dear Julie,
It makes me so sad to go back and read this, even though you have come such a long way since then. You are such a wonderful woman, and to see what you have endured is just heartbreaking! I am so glad that you are making a break and staking a claim for yourself. I know it is such a difficult decision first to make and then to carry through on, but I also know that happiness is around the corner and directly proportionate to how far in your rear view mirror he is!
Im also wondering if you would mind catching up sisters on this thread as to what happened that finally brought you to your decision. That way when sisters look in the future they can see your whole journey and learn from it.
Best wishes to you sister and a big hug!
~BonnieHi sisters,
Thanks for reposting, Liza. As much for me as for the other sisters. It’s good (although a little nauseating in some ways) to see where I was, and where I am now.
Bonnie, good question, re:what brought me to my decision. At the time, it was this: he simply did not do “the work.” Nothing had really changed. He was going to therapy a whole one hour a month. Spending Friday nights with the guys, saying he “needed” that time. I just got tired of it. I told him in January 2012 I wanted a divorce. I think at that time, I even wanted to give him one last chance to see if he’d fight. I wasn’t bluffing, and yet, if he had done a sudden turn around, I’m sure I would have stayed.
The more time goes on, the more I’ve seen the asshole he is. He was always the same. I think maybe I’ve the one that’s finally changed, gotten stronger, and seen the light. To be honest, I took forever to file out of fear: fear of his knowledge of money (he’s a financial planner), fear of his association with so many local attorneys, and just fear of this big change. But life is too short, and it had become too ugly. Little by little, I reached my breaking point…that simple and that difficult.
Hugs, sisters!! xoxoZG, I completely understand when you say that you are the one who has finally changed, and that is how you got out,
that is happening to me,,,
that is what happens sisters we change then our circumstances change, otherwise they will never change they will be always assholesThank you for sharing this story. I can relate to so much of it, especially the recharged pain of the second discovery. It all comes back and then some. So confusing and so paralyzing in the fear. After the first discovery, I was looking for reasons to stay. Now, I’m looking for reasons to leave.
Julie,
You really have come so far! Look at all the second guessing you did of yourself and the chances you gave him. And you finally found your truth and the strength to not live like that any more. Good for you, sister. That will see you through this long hard process of divorce and the crap he will throw at you. You know who he is, you know who you are. And you will be so much better off without him.
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